Monday, December 14, 2009

To Drown Myself

Suffocated?! not really, but true enough i have been under the weather lately. i could feel it myself as well. Maybe i just want to lay low for a while but on the other hand, so much so that i want to be left alone, at the same time i want to have some one to accompany. don't ask me why because i don't even have the answers myself.

Manga: Hapi Mari. felt that it was a good manga. talking about life and marriage. well, it seems like the latter does not really apply to me but i feel that i couldnt trust this but also want to have a try. playing with fire, ain't i?

i shall continue to indulge myself with manga and 2d imaginery friend.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

What has become of me?

So many things weighing on my mind. I'm exhausted. Truthfully, I cannot seem to find any drive to do anything, be it for my work, bowling, music or even studies. Wonder where did my motivation went to.

Work, of course is not as smooth sailing as it seems. Recently it seems that I have been making many mistakes here and there. For example coming late by 30mins for work, did not clean my centre properly and that Karen (head of operations) said that Parkway is in a mess and dusty, questioned me how come I did not put up the lyrics for the Christmas prom finale song, questioned my attitude in the morning when I refuse the bring the spoilt metronoume back to Parkway and some more I cannot recall now.

Sandra mentioned something me being proactive in my work or somewhere along that line. Proactice she says. What can i say boy? i cannot really say that i'm right but i also cannot prove her wrong either. Damn, this is work and it is my job to do so. Should i resign now? or stay till June and hit her target to prove her wrong and leaves? But what does that shows? i'm capable? Sandra, you've underestimated me? You've got me all going at your finger tips? Human, just simply creates trouble for themselves. i wish for the world to end now.

But have they ever thought that I went out of my way to collect keys from Siewmei just to open the door at Funan on such short notice? Have they ever considered some times I would willing to help travel from centre to centre just to transfer some books or to collect books? Sometimes, people just take things for granted. Despite having said that, i am not anywhere better off.

Recently old flame just got attached. So much for saying he'll never consider any other girls, at the end of the day, all man are the same. They would always choose the easiest way out. Well i don't blame him and it's not like i love him anyway. Just reflecting. Do i sound like i regretted? oh boy, i don't. it just makes me feel that males, we cannot trust them easily. So sick and tired with them, BUT, i don't swing that way!

Life is short, beautiful yet sad in so many ways. i want to be strong and versatile. i want to prove myself yet at the same time i don't want to show off. i want to lead but also to follow. Say, life is strange isn't it? i went to have a small pep talk with a few of my colleagues, and they told me not to give up and not to feel depressed because of whatever happened in life and work. Everywhere you go, there bound to have problems as such. You can never run away from it.

i'm feeling frustrated now.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

End Of The Year Syndrome

Recently, it seems that I have encountered quite a number of people with very weird attitude. Perhaps it is towards the end of the year and everyone's mood is a bit at the low end because of the sudden work load that has been piling up. To be honest, I am equally stressed up as well.

When the month of December it's around the corner, I often experience mixed emotions. I'm happy because it's festive seasons, but on the other hand, work load has doubled and life has been a little miserable especially I have just completed my Half Mock test earlier this week. Also, December means that my final exams are around the corner. Tell me that I'm so dead.

Besides, not too long ago, I had this sudden urge of resigning from my current work. Frankly speaking, this environment that I am working in is really very chaotic. There is not one proper system and sometimes things can really get way out of hand. Some times I really wonder when the management have all the time to find fault with you on small errors, why don't they use this same amount of time to do something more productive?

I am not too sure myself whether in the near future will I be like them. But seriously, I am tired. very tired. Maybe cause I'm getting old. *smiles* But I'm always young at heart. Well, I guess the only way to brighten up my day is to indulge myself with animes and mangas. Speaking about mangas, I am running out of mangas to read. I'm looking for something more touching to the heart. Maybe I should start reading forums.

*Sigh* If I'm really that bored, maybe I should start studying for real. My goodness, I seriously do not wish to flank my final year now that I am already half way there. I need to buckle up and work hard. Like seriously work hard for my study. Afterall, I have more time now since "idiots & Jokers" no longer takes up my time and I really need to fully utilize my precious time.

Time passes by so fast. For those people who always find themselves bored and wants to find something to kill time, please think again, before you knew it, time is actually silently kiling you and not the other way round. Jeez, tell me is this a sign of old age? Probably. *smiles*

Right now, my current situation is that I am standing at a cross road, thinking where and which path should I take. What I really want and I know that I really need more self-discipline. I also need more self-motivation. I hope that one day I could become a millionaire overnight and do all the things that I want. For example, buying an acoustic piano for my leisure learning and also keeping my gu-zheng for a change time to time. I want to have lovely dogs that will always be there for me when I'm sad and also with my parents who will retire and no need to work and enjoy travelling around the world. That's too much of an ideal scenario isn't it? *laugh* But seriously, I want that kind of life. Soon enough I realised that it is not quite possible in Singapore.

Anyway, need to get back to work and damn the CCTV that's going to be watching me for the next 24/7 of my time here and my nightmare will start next tuesday. Life is going to interesting. The first step to believing is having faith.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

What if?

2012 is a movie that talks about dooms day, which also means the end of the world. when mankind is facing a threat of being extinct. the graphics are really fantastic and spectacular. seriously. its a good show that i don't feel that i've wasted my money on it.

this movie is like a wake up call to all human beings who are still alive right now. to treasure and look at things from another perspective. seriously, i have no idea what i want to do when the world really comes to an end. maybe, just stay with my family would be all that i ask for. to stay alive? that would be a miracle and it can only happens when you have the luck, information, connection and resources.

life is so fragile, so short.

speaking about life, i so tired of everything right now. all these just keeps troubling me and i really wanted a break. getaway from everything and lead a life with no worries, no troubles and just to enjoy every single second of my life.

perhaps if i start to let it go one by one, i would probably feel better. sigh.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

New manga

hey peeps, just read this damn funny manga...lol...it's called Power...should go and read iit..couldnt stop laughing...

it really brightens up my day for sure :)

Friday, November 13, 2009

Entertain me more than you should

Had this hilarious interview with *you know you know* today. what a bad day to choose, it's friday the 13th. well, couldnt get any better, was caught in the rain for 15 mins and I ended eating Mr. Bean for lunch while waiting for the rain to subside.

They told me I was given a chance merely because they might need to use me for next year end major games. They are expecting me to be of their service when there is a need for them to call for me. well said. but this time round, i don't give a damn to whatever plans you guys have for me. bull crap.

funny isn't it? they told me that they wiill not only up the training fees next year, but also will do some re-arrangements to the co-share. it's no longer a refund of co-share once you qualify for masters, it depends on the magnitude of the tournament. they may even make it so that you have to finish a certain position in the FINALS to get your REFUND of the CO-SHARE. tell me, should i cry or laugh? but i find it laughable in many ways.

besides, they said people been complainiing about the 20% tax. well, they said that they even thought of reversing the situation. we pay all the full amount and if we win, they will give us 20% or more. well, wonder if they have brains, anyway, they don't have one to start with.

the day *you know you know* implement this, no one would want to join them anymore. we could get full sponsorship from somewhere else. and what happens to this supposedly a non-profit organization? have they ever wonder that they are speaking to a person who takes business?! what's more accounting and auditing. you've got to be kidding me. they think too full of themselves. which they have always been anyway.

and they made some unnecessary comparison. and i kinda shoot them with my "HRM" knowlegde. thank goodness i attended class today. so my memory is still kinda fresh. what nonsense are they spouting. comparing us to the westerners. you've got to be joking. our culture is not even the same with theirs to start with. don't be ridiculous people.

they told me so many jokes today. now that i'm thinking whether should i bowl for the upcoming event. because they say, no money no play. oh well, i'll just have to see what kind of faces they are going to show me. forget about the major, forget about Ovaltine, forget about everything. I'll take the ride and go off on my own.

felt so empty now that i no longer have so many commitments. was thinking of completing my music. after i stopped at grade 4, maybe i should continue to grade 8. not too bad an idea. music does not segregate age, gender or nationality. passion lies within the listener and how the listener interprets the music piece.

somehow, although i said that i felt empty but at the same time this feeling is also a sign of relief. finally, after many years of struggling, debating, anticipating, hoping, arguing, feeling disappointed and agony. i have put a stop to all these once and for all. like a stone lifted from my chest, i have truly given up hope on them.

i'm amused myself to think that i have stayed with them for so long. speaking about commitment, i had it compromise with other factors. i don't regret doing it but still will feel the ache. it's okay, it's just like a heartbreak. time heal. when i get too busy, i may eventually forget that i'ma bowler. I will be a successful person in my field of work. and show that i have not wasted my youth days for nothing.

i had my fun, laughter and sad moments. it's alright. this journey took me longer than it should. i'm tired. am not going to embark on this journey anymore. but to my friends from the same circle as me, i would certainly hope that even when i'm no longer with the organization, we are still friends who hangs out, have fun, talk cock, sing k, eat steamboat, play mj and party till we drop.

what a tiring day i had.

Monday, November 9, 2009

New manga

Hi peeps. just read thiis manga which is damn good...The Change!

to know more about the plot pls visit my other anime and manga world webbie!!

OMG!!! SO FUNNY!!!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Picking up pieces of myself

Hi peeps! I'm back from my nepal trip quite a few days ago but have been too busy recently and lazy as well, so didnt have the time to blog. I haven't even tag my photos yet, sigh, will do that soon.

Anyway, I want to Kathmandu and Pokhara in Nepal. Nice place with splendid view and scenery. Snowy moutains, beautiful sunrise and cooling weather helps me to feel refreshed as well as relaxed. Never really felt like this before back in Singapore since the day I stepped into adulthood. Sounds old. But true enough, i'm not young anymore.

Well, before the trip some stuff happened. Something I felt so embarrased about and something I felt super ashamed of myself. Fell for the same old trick, same old trap, same old me. Fuck! well, I don't really want to mention names but what happen is some modelling agent approached me, took pictures and videos, signed a "contract" and gave him a $100. Now, i'm on his web.

Well, I reap what I sow even though i regretted so badly after that. I really hated myself for that. I emailed and smsed him and ask for the removal of my media but he simply refuses and instead ask for a matchplay against me. a bowling of 3 games and winner call the shot. I asked him to fuck off.

Apparently I am still on his website and I am still bugging him to remove my profile. It boils down to the point that I really hated myself. Seriously, what the hell was I thinking back then. It's a shame that I never learn my lesson. I swear that I will never give a second thought to this kinda thing anymore. I still hate myself for that. Until the day he decides to take down my profile, I don't think I could forgive myself.

Sound serious right? It is. No joke.

Now that i'm being thrown back to reality, bowling sucks. yea, screw them. Besides I have been neglecting my studies so its about time i start picking it up. I still hate myself. Sigh.

I really hope that the stupid, brainless, idiotic, fucked up and annoying bastard, faggot, moron, asshole would remove my profile. everytime i talk about this, i hated myself even more. Please don't bring this up. I really hated it unless I need to vent my anger.

Casting all these aside, I really enjoyed Kathmandu. no worries, no cellphones, no laptops, no work, no burden. As light as the breeze, as free as the clouds. Although the living condition is very bad, it still feels nice and good to be there.

I want to feel like this again.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Moutain and River

Finally finish packing my laguage for my 10 days trip to Nepal. I can't wait to get there.

This trip is probably an excuse for me to break away from my "forever so busy" schedule and to have some room to breathe. Also for me to cool my head and seek for guidance for inner peace... *sounds like i'm going to be a nun* lol, Joking.

Anyway, it is true that this trip is for me to clear my head but it is to find the direction that I must take in future. From a career prospective and also in relationship. After reflecting on what I did before on "woodblock" and "old flame", I've realised that all along I have never been true to my own heart. I am avoiding this situation and ended up giving wrong messages to the wrong person.

Alright, MY BAD! So, now i'm going to do my best to salvage what ever I can. Hopefully I still stand a chance. It's not like i'm going to confess or anything but since I plan to leave the bowling circle, I don't think I'll get to see woodblock anymore. Hence, it would be a good opportunity for me to clarify things with woodblock.

I don't know if I stand a chance now for woodblock but at least I would want to know what was his feelings back then. This could at least lighten my heart a little. With this, it's also about time I should make my stand clear for old flame. He may have very good future prospect but he probably won't be able to give me happiness.

Now my question is should I clarify things with woodblock face to face or over the phone? Well, any suggestion? Just for your information, he is a reserved and shy guy. So what would be the best? Another thing to take into consideration is I won't be able to see him anymore after AIA. So How?

Next is should I tell him after his tourny or before? Since it's going to be a trashing session, what would be the best strategy? Sigh.

By the way, I'm really thinking of quitting bowling for good. Probably soon. So people, don't jump or drop your jaws when you hear news like this. I've already given you ample time to prepare your heart. LOL.

I realised that I kinda like woodblock. Like seriously. omg.

Friday, October 9, 2009

It has been a while now

Well, i realised that i havent been blogging for quite some time for now coz i was really really busy...with work, training and also studying...i'll try to summarise all of it again once i have more time...

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

New Blog

I have been thinking for quite a while about creating another blog, link or any online source for my manga and anime review. I find it quite inconvenient to read my own stories plus all my reviews for mangas and animes. Hence, probably I will start something so that readers has the convenient to choose what they want to read.

Will update again.

Sayonara!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

how many more times

shocked. not exactly. i've kinda expected it somehow since today is his birthday. yesterday when i saw the latest event posted on my facebook wall, it stated that it was ***"old flame" birthday. i was contemplating whether should i drop him a birthday message but decided not to because i dont want to mislead him in any possible ways.

but who would expect him to nudge me on msn today and asked how's life. so well, just being nice i said hello and wished him a happy birthday. just a simple happy birthday and nothing else. i kept my sentences and reply short and simple. hopefully we can still be friends after what happen that very saturday night on siewmei's birthday.

he asked about my exams and school so told him that i've gotten busier lately and somehow seems to be running out of time. after which he got disconnected and then he drop me an sms. he said that he still misses me alot and would do whatever it takes to see me again even though he knows that my parents would disagree.

my reply to him was [even though there's no outcome to it al all?] and this is what he replied back [yup, even if there's no outcome to it, i know that i love you and that's a fact i cant deny regardless of whatever outcome...even if i must die, at least i spend my time with you and not worrying how the future's gonna turn out]

omg, his sms sounds damn serious. and my reply to him was to sleep early dun think too much and good night. am i cruel? now i'm thinking whether right from the start should i even reply to his messages.

at this point of time i wished i could talk to siewmei or maylou about this since they are the only ones who know about the whole story. but i couldnt find them online. i thought of talking to steffi, but she's not online either.

this is where i need to tell myself to solve your own problems and stop depending on others. i really don't know how to deal with this situation. who can really understand how my heart feels now. really. i dont even know where to start looking at the root of this problem.

i need to start to calm my mind, and heart to look at a clearer picture. to judge from a third person's point of view. i need to solve this problem on my own. how?

i want some answers.

***note people, someone pointed it out to me the other time about this. well, when i said old flame, it doesnt mean he was someone i used to date or something. it's just a reference for me to call him by names. because at that point of time i couldn't think of any other suitable names, that's why i used "old flame" as a representative for this person. So, please do not mistaken him as someone who is really an old flame. thanks peeps.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Naughty Me!

as usual, my day today is as long as ever but despite my long and tiring day, i'm looking forward for this coming weekend.

saturday, csc gang is going to have a farewell party for clement tan because he is going to NS soon. to train himself to be a better man =) but they have league till late and party will only start after that which is about 10pm plus. now, i'm contemplating whether shld i go or not. sigh.

plus, on the fb invitation, the organizer didnt invite me. it was a last min invitation by wee wee. well, maybe they didn't want me to be there. lol. okay, she-na stop jumping into conclusion. well, we'll see how things goes :)

sunday will be a steamboat days with siewmei and maylou. super looking forward to that. wanna gossip with them more and enjoy some girl's talk with them...we'll be having our dinner at bugis. if it's good, steffi and gang, next time i'll bring all of u there to eat...whack!

hanayouseisama wa 16-sai is a dissapointment. they translate halfway here and there. makes my reading so screwed up. wish i could read jap but too bad i can only understand by hearing. damn it. why can't the translator do a better job. i'm referring to a manga by the way in case if you are wondering what i'm blabbering about.

finished watching shaman king AGAIN. so now i kinda wanna read their manga. wants to know what happen next coz i highly doubt they will have a season 2 for that anime. although i thought it was a pretty good anime just that there are some parts here and there are missing. IMPT parts especially.

well, i'm tired. wanna sleep. good night peeps!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

what a crazy day I had

Now, where should I start talking about it... ... ...
I guess it all started with my morning class. well, i'm supposed to have Audit lessons today at 9.30am and when i reach there, the lessons was cancelled because my lecturer called in the morning and reported sick. wasted my trip and my precious sleep. Neverming about that, so I decided to ga back hone and continue my sweet dreams.

At around 11.00am to 12noon, i recieved a couple of smses from Siewmei and Maylou telling me that our exam results are out. But because i was too tired, i didnt bother to check until i started hearinh unplesant news.

Went downstairs to the bookshop to get the Aural Test Scores binded as requested by one of the teachers. While waiting, it suddenly rain like cats and dogs. So, i was kinda stuck there for like 10mins of so until the rain kinda subsided a bit before heading home.

After i reach home, checked my results, i cabbed down to work. Bought Mac for lunch and to my horror, i forgot to bring my office keys. Well done Ong She-Na. So i had to cab home and cab back to my office... Today, Comfort Taxi earned quite a bit from me. Congratulations.

Next, I bought Old Chang Kee for breakfast and the aunty thought that I was a secondary school student and gave me discount. well, that's very nice of her and so I accepted her offer. LOL. that's the good thing that happened today.

Oh yea, another thing is i passed my second year uni and everything went smoothly. That's good. although some of my friends didnt get through it as smoothly as i did, there are really many of my friends who took UOL failed at least one module. Damn, i'm super lucky.

And, my keyboard, the "I" button came off. tried putting it back but the key does not stick to the stick anymore. so right now as i type, the "I" buttons keeps coming off and sometimes it doesnt receive the message.

anyway, i forgot what i wanted to say coz i'm damn tired now. Oyasumi nasai.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

waiting and time passes by

while i was trying to find something to do to kill time, unknowingly and without realising it, time is sliently killing me. i'm waiting. waiting for monday to come and that i can get to celebrate teachers' day with some of my colleagues.

i'm waiting. waiting for tuesday to come. the release of my 2nd year uni results. probably i should start training my own heart before i collapse with a heart attack upon receiving my results. speaking about this, i realized that i don't even know how are they going to release the results to us. lol.

i'm waiting. waiting for wednesday to come so that my favourite anime Bleach and 07-Ghost will upload the next episode. super looking forward to it as this is the only thing that brightens up my long, tiring, boring, routined day. i would love to drown myself in all of my animes.

i'm waiting. waiting for thursday which is also the day that the fansub group will release the new episode for my another all time favourite anime, Naruto Shippuuden. if i didn't remember wrongly, think the next movie for shippuden is coming out. hopefully it will be out soon, i simply love this anime so much :)

i'm waiting. waiting for friday to come because i love to attend my new HRM class. HRM is in short for Human Resource Management. Love this class cause my lecturer is so funny. I also enjoyed my tuesday class very much, audit may be the most boring subject but i have the most funniest lecturer to entertain us in class. i feel so blessed with good teachers.

i'm waiting. waiting for saturday to come. to see all my lovely and friendly colleagues at work and they will teach and give me some pointers to me for piano playing. i'm slowly learning how to play some piano pieces. getting in touch with my artistic side.

i'm waiting. waiting for sunday because it is the last day of the week and i can get my full day rest the next day. arhhhhh, how nice. i would love to pamper myself in my bed with my comfy blanked, lavender pillow and my stuffed animal, narnia. actually, i've got a second name for my stuffed animal, yato. eh, sounds nice?

so before i knew it, another week is gone and the same thing will repeat itself again until maybe next year april i might get another new set of routine to do. god knows whether is it a good or a bad thing to push myself this much. but one thing i know is, i'm doing things that i love. studying, training and working. at the end of the day, it is how u feel about things that is important.

well, for the long-run. i'm waiting for my another all-time favourite manhwa "the bride of the water god" to upload its next chapter. i'm so super duper ultra looking forward to it but it seems that the translator is trying to be funny by keeping their readers in suspence. it's torturing me.

sigh. here comes my boring life. thank goodness i have my animes and mangas to add some colours to my life.

guess this is like another random post. again.

say, my blog is nice isn't it?

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Random-ness

I was quite disappointed that my Bleach template got kinda screwed up since it was one of my favourite template and so with this, i've decided that i should get a cooler template. Where there's a will, there's a way and i've found a damn COOL TEMPLATE.

I really love this current template i have...it's awesome! like cool to the max! and i did a little editing to my cbox. and added some effect here and there. i'm starting to like my blog more now. But i have a problem is that, i wanna add a gif image on my blog. the one that i showed on my cbox. That webby has a naruto gif image on the bottom left of the webby. I have that gif image but how do i go about inserting that into my blog. That's a tough nut to crack.

But if possible i want it up on my blog...don't you think it's damn damn damn awesome!!! i'm so fascinated with my own blog now...felt kinda satisfied and all...

Anyway, putting all these happy happy feelings. MY RESULTS WILL BE OUT THIS COMING TUESDAY. jeez. dooms day. better enjoy now while i have the mood. CHUI. hopefully i can pass every damn thing. argh!!!! WHERE'S MY QC DURING MY MUGGING PERIOD MAN! if only have put in a little more hard work, i probably do not need to worry now.

I want tuesday to faster come and also dun come so fast. Irony. i know. sigh. anyway, before dooms day, seimpi music is gonna celebrate teacher's day. GUESS WHAT. we will be watching "the proposal" at Great World City, CATHAY GOLD CLASS cinema. served my lunch some more. Cool hor. I also say. I'll be going down with siewmei but unfortunately, we have to wake up damn early.

We need to be there at like 10.00am so you can imagine what time i have to wake up inorder to reach there on time. if only i have supernatural power such as teleportation. then, i'll never be late for anything. ain't that amazing? yea, that's highly impossible anyway, unless i'm night crawler. LOL. i dun want to be nightcrawler also.

Oh yea, readers, when u have nothing to do..you can feed my fish for me...ain't they cute?? if only it's a dog or something...hahaha oh mayve fyulong from 07 ghost. you know you know, that small little dragon looking pet that always follow Teito around and it's name is Mikage. It's so damn cute can.

Oh damn, i wish i live in an anime world. it's full of amazing and unexpected things. but that means i'm fantasizing. sigh. sigh.

ALrights, it's getting late and i need to turn in soon since i've got to work tmr morning. and i got a feeling my eyesight is starting to detoriates.omg. save me. someone. i need to start to stare at more trees and grass.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Mood: Happy yet sad and annoyed

I'm happy because one of my favourite manga that i've been waiting for them to update since last year has finally complete updating. It's Kiss/Hug. A nice and beautiful romantic story that doesn't seem real but something i simply enjoy reading.

Another reason why i'm happy because i've finally get to go to facial today as we have been postponing our appointment from the start of the month to the end of the month. Amazing isn't it?

I happy also because Vampire Knight, 07 Ghost and Shiawase Kissasanchoume has been updated recently. I have always been looking forward to read their manga and now they are keeping me in suspence. Wonder how long more do i need to wait until their next update. Sigh.

I'm happy also because i've been searching for this song for damn long and i've finally got my hands on it. =) it's hitomi no kotae by Noria. it's the ending theme for 07-ghost anime. Super Duper nice. Got addicted to that song.

Next, I'm annoyed because i happily bought some bread and pastries home and mother was making a big fuss out of it. Saying that do not anyhow buy breads and pastries from any random shops because they don't handle them properly and how cockroaches and ants end up inside the pastries. Also she said that i bought so many; 3 piglets, one chocolate cake, 1 coconut bun, there's no place for her to store these useless food. She said that we could throw it away but it's a watse of money. And because of the bread and pastries i bought, she said it took up do much space on our dinning table that she has to store the chin chow she brewed in the refrigerator. Okay, i got the message now. Next time, i wouldnt buy bread and pastries back. Besides, i wounldnt have the chance to do that for i'm starting school tomorrow and from this week onwards till end of the year, she would only be able to see me at home after 9pm every week days and after 7pm on weekends, provided if i dun go out after my work. So she dun have the chance to nag at me anymore. To a certain extend, i told myself that it's a good thing to keep myself busy. So my conclusion is, the lesser time i spend at home, the lesser trouble i'll get with my mother, the lesser the argument will result in a happier living environment. Now to come to think about it, i think she is the reason why i occupy myself to this extend.

I'm sad because one of the anime that i've been chasing was suddenly licensed and i cant get to watch it anymore. It's hanasakeru Seishounen. Omg, that's how sad can. I was so looking forward to it and now they're telling me that they've decided to license it. I'm just so sad. Sigh.

I'm sad also because after school starts, i barely have time to watch anime or read manga. i need to buck up on my school work and to do revision. Sigh. I wish i could spend more time on my animes and mangas. it's my alternative source of relaxation other than sleeping and slacking.

Okay, i realised that this is just another random post again. i should hurry up and go to sleep since my class tomorrow is at 9.30am.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Manga Review: Koi, Hirari

Manga: Koi, Hirari
Genre: Romance, Shoujo, School life, Drama
Status: Completed. 12 Chapters

General Feel:
If you have read backstage prince before, this manga similiar to that. However, this has more heart-warming scenes that tickles your heart. A little unique from Backstage Prince something worthwhile reading.

Story:
It says about this young girl, Misaki Sumire, met her first love during her first winter back in her mother's hometown. It was New Year's eve when she met this young man, Kasuki, who happens to be a very famous traditional japanese dancer from a very famous dancing school.

That unexpected meeting has brought these 2 young people together and because of the difference in family background, they have made obstacles after obstacles. With a strong rivalry, Kasuki's younger brother, Haruka, it adds on to the diffculties this pair young lover is facing.

With all the commotion, public pressure, fiancees, rivalry and the main aspect of this story, which is the heart. How much would either parties willing to sacrifice so that the other party need not suffer. What trials they have to go through to achieve approval and blessings from everyone.

Please read them if you have the time.
If you like backstage prince, you would like this too. I've learnt something from this manga. About the treatment to someone who is precious to you. Well, I kinda feel that it's quite true to a certain extend.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Hope It Ends...And It Starts With Me...

Saturday...another long day for me. Had work in the morning till evening as usual and headed out to Siewmei's 21st birthday party at Aranda. Although i didnt buy her any presents, cause i really don't know what to buy, treated her to lunch on Wednesday as her present. That's probably the most sincere present i could give.

Anyway, old flame insisted on picking me up from work and to send me down to siewmei's chalet. Also, he wants to send me home after that. Well, so i took this chance to clarify matters with him. thank goodness he doesn't know that i have a blog.

While in his car on the way to Aranda, he asked how's my day and stuff and told me he kinda missed me. Honestly, that puts me in a damn difficult situation. I felt like i was about to murder some innocent man. Though, he's not that innocent anymore based on what i know and heard about him in the past.

Past may be in the past and we should not bother it too much, however, your past is the one damn good thing that haunts you forever. So even though he may be "nice and innocent" now, it does not deny the fact that he lost it once. That is not very fair for whoever comes after that. If you know what i mean.

Anyway, i did hint him by saying what if i'm not the girl who will walk beside him in the future and also i asked him what would he do if i leave. When a girl says that, it's kinda obvious and i know that he kinda already knows what i'm going to say next. Unfortunately, i've already arrived at Aranda and so i had to get out of the car and to attend the party.

After the party, he came to pick me up as promised and we continued our conversation from there. While driving me back, throughout the entire trip he never once let go of my hand. That puts me in a even more difficult and awkward position because i'm not too sure what am i supposed to do next. Should i brush his hands off? or should i just let him hold on to my hand? what should i do? and bla bla bla...worrying through the journey home.

We had a little chat at my house downstairs and so i told him that it would probably be our last time meeting each other because i wanted to draw the line and maybe we should not contact each other anymore. He kept asking if i could make out some time for him and all he asked was just another dinner or movie. But this time round, i rejected him firmly. no buts, no maybes, no see-hows. I said no.

As when his eyes became teary, i feel so cruel towards him. and it was then i couldnt tell him straight that he is not the man i truly want to be with. Because somewhere out there, whenever something happens, woodblock would surface in my mind. I know that's bad. But i can't help it. That is when i realised that old flame is really not the one for me.

I wanted to be honest for once, with old flame. like telling him whatever i said on my blog. Like how i don't feel the love from him and somehow some where doesn't feel quite right despite the fact that i know him for like 7 to 8 years. Also, he may have good career prospect and he may be able to provide me for my life **from a realistic point of view**, but i don't feel like being part of the picture with him.

My heart doesnt skip a beat when i'm with him. Maybe at first sight, my heart beats a little faster than usual. But after a while, i tend to worry instead of enjoying my time with him. When he held my hand, thoughts like "shit, what am i supposed to do now?" , "what if someone saw us?" , "should i push him away?" , "will i hurt his pride?" , "i dun want this" and etc... will come across my mind.

But that doesnt happen when it was with woodblock. I'm not using woodblock as my excuse to push old flame away. It's just that somehow, i dun feel right with old flame. Also, it's not like i'm expecting something out of woodblock. Eventually, i may find a better guy than him and i will move on in life and i may forget what woodblock has done for me.

That aside, after getting off the car and ignoring him. He smsed me and told me that he would probably need some time to get over me and also, honestly he would do anything for us to be together. Tell you what, i didnt reply his sms. Am i doing the right thing? hope i did. don't want to mislead him or anything.

Time will heal. I hope it does. For him and for myself. I just hope that school can hurry start, training can hurry resume. So that I can keep myself busy and not think about anything. Not about old flame, not about woodblock. I just want to focus on my studies, bowling and work. Hang out with friends to chill. Mahjong. Sing K. Eat steamboat. Play L4D. or anything. gathering.

Relationship is troublesome. I knew that long ago. I shouldnt have bothered myself with all these unnecessary things at the moment, when i have other better things to do. Really. What have i gotten myself into. I brought this upon myself. If only, i hadnt gone out with him. Well, it's too late for that now. So, just be a little wiser next time. RUN, when you can see it coming.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Manga Review: Tsuki no Shippo

Manga: Tsuki no Shippo
Genre: Historical, Romance, Martial arts, Drama, Shoujo, Comedy, Adventure
Status: Completed. 105 Chapters.

Story:
Usagi is a child from a famous ninja village and her grandpa and great-grandpa were well known shinobi as well. However, she doesn't seem to inherit their genes and could not even be qualified as a shinobi. Despite that, she is a herbalist. Someone who is good at mixing medicine.

Her first mission was to go to Iga, another village and marry the leader of the village to bear his child. The amiable man is Hanzou. Hanzou is like a perfect man. He has the looks, the skills and the leadership. Everything a woman desire, he has. BUT, he has a problem. He does not want to marry.

It's a story that involves these 2 characters as the main characters of the story. This manga has a good plot when comes to politics play since ninjas are often send to missions such as gathering information, smoking each other and fight each other.

It also involves with a little tragedy because of a war between the villages. And how does the war make a change in every character's life. It complies with Usagi's journy in becoming a herbalist, a shinobi as well as Hanzou's wife. The people she met along the way and the people she lost in battles.

It has happy, sad and frustrating moments when reading this manga.

OMG. SO DEAD.

To be honest, i'm kinda in a deep pile of shit recently. well, i believe many of you would know that when one shit comes, all the shit would come as well. omg, i'm so dead. perhaps this is my karma. a lesson for me to learnt through the dangerous way. the most dangerous way.

so where should i start talking about it. alright, perhaps it all started out with old flame meeting up and stuff. this could get pretty serious and to make things worst, i've played with fire and burnt myself.

this boy whom i have know him since my teenage years came back asking me out for a dinner. and well, here i though no harm going out for a dinner since it i hadnt been going out much and my social life seems a little boring and dry. this is the point where you could say, trying to start the fire with a match stick. and here it goes.

after dinner and stuff, we talked a bit and till now we still contact each other. and of coz, the meeting didnt end with just the first dinner, we went out for a movie and stuff too. so it pretty seems like a date. at least, that's what i thought too. and this is the point when i realised that under the match stick that i lid, there was a pile of dry grass below it.

so it has been a week already. and after many sms-ing on the phone and stuff. i'm gradually starting to feel frighten by him. in short, i'm afraid of him. he's not a stalker or anything coz he's in army now. i mean he sign on as a regular in the SAF. by saying so, i guess many of you could have already figured out that he has money.

he owns his own car, a tuscani. he has cash and credit card. BUT!!! that's not the point. there was this once serious talk we had and he was talking about OUR future. yes, hear it right, he said OUR FUTURE! omg. die. to be honest. he was never in my picture.

also, since recently i have changed my msn nick complaining about my comp and stuff. he hinted that he wanted to buy a laptop for me, on top of that, it is a macbook. oh yea, you didnt hear or see wrongly again. he said MACBOOK! and guess what it is the MACBOOK PRO!. jeez, at this point of time, my heartbeat almost stop for 5mins. it's not funny.

putting that aside, i was glad that there was this one sms that he mentioned that he feels that it's kinda hard for him to communicate with me. my mood was damn happy. i wish he could call off this whole thing. at this stage, the match stick that i lid, went out and i dispose it into the pile of dried grass.

erm. i dun even know how to describe the status we're in. god damn it. boys sure are trouble. damn big trouble-maker. i'm starting to have phobia against boys. zomg. correction. not boys. phobia against him.yes. HIM!

okay, apart from all these things. he said he wanted to meet my parent. my soul almost went out of my body.yea. for a split second my soul came out of my body and went back in again. for god's sake. what in the world is he thinking. i dont understand. i totally don't understand and dont get it. at this point of time, it feels like the match stick that was supposed to die, found its spark and lid again. this time round, in the pile of dried grass. the fire started.

and so when the fire started. now. i'm starting to find water to put it out. and if i don't find the water in time, i will burn myself. alright, i hate to say this but now i've a few plans on hand. i have to play my cards well and right. on top of that, i can never play this fairly and so cheating is necessary.

i have to get this settled by end of this week. if not, you would probably see my face on the orbiturary page or on my grave engraved on it R.I.P
it may sound serious. because it is serious. if i dun settle it fast. there will be dispute between my mother and i, my father and my mother, my mother and him, and last of all me and his family.

die. so dead. why would this happen at a time like this. why. why. why. tell me why. i thought i could keep my cool. oh well, i am keeping my cool on the surface. yes i am. i'm just venting my frustration here. and i'm glad i did.

during all these times when i'm out with him or texting each other. i know he cared for me. but somehow i don't feel that love at all. somehow it doesnt seem like it is real. it is not something i could put to words but i did some comparison between this old flame and that WOODBLOCK.

of coz i not only compared my old flame with woodblock but also with some other male friends that i know who used to be interested in me and how they approach and what is the feel like. but i can only compare him to woodblock because we have the same denominator here which is me. they are somewhat my type of guys and i had feelings for them.however, a very different type of feel.

woodblock gave me a more real feel. thinking back on those times when we spent toegther during our overseas tourny. somehow i could feel that he may have really cared for me from the bottom of his heart. he meant it. his actions, gestures and words.he meant it.

old flame is more of like a playing feel. although from the time i know him till now, he did mature a lot.trust me, he was damn freaking fugging childish in the past. but that's all in the past and right now he may turn out to be a not a bad guy. having said that, i dont feel anything from him.

a lady's 6th sense is always damn accurate. i'm not being bias here. really. but my heart doesnt tell me that old flame is the man for me. or the guy i want to be in a realtionship with. his actions, gestures or words doesnt seem to be what he wants to say. it feels more like, he is saying it because he knows i want to hear it. it feels like he is rushing it.

woodblock may be irritating at times. sometimes hot sometimes cold. i dont understand what you're thinking as well. nevertheless, those time that i spent with you really felt different. you're honest. straight forward and the feeling you portray is innocent.

taking dinner or lunch for example. the way the two of them talks and the way they acted towards me are so different. old flame cares more about going to a more high class restaurant, not to be embarassed in front of me. woodblock is more of like taking care of what i need. like sharing food with me since i'm indecisive. THAT is the difference.

SMS.woodblock would ask if we're on the right route home. if i would need an umbrella and telling me the weather is going to rain. old flame would ask how's my day. if i miss him or not.not to work so much and burn my weekends off and when can we meet again.erm, people, can you spot the difference?

when we walk.old flame would walk beside me and try to do funny things like hold my hand and stuff. ok, i can understand this part why guys do that. but it is damn not natural. he would try to pace me so that he would have his chance.woodblock would also walk beside me. but he is walking by my side and not BESIDE me. the difference is, woodblock ensures that i wont be walking alone. whereas old flame has an ulterior motive.

look, i'm not speaking up for woodblock. really i'm not. but this is what my feel tells me so. well, all along i'm a very kinestatic person. so feel to me is important. sigh.

that's why i always say, when anything that comes to the heart, it's the most difficult issue to tackle. and to be honest. romance is damn troublesome. relationship is like a burden. after this, i better learn my lesson and stay away from potential harmful males.

actually, it's more of having more self-control and awareness. sometimes it's not good to let your heart overpower your brain. there are times where you brain has to lead your heart to make decisions. i guess this shows that i'm still so emotional. so damn emotional. and childish.

i have to seriously reflect on my own mistake this time round. not all males out there are just your friends or buddies. argh! OSN!!!!!! get a hold of yourself man. what is wrong with you. damn it.

lost.pissed.frustrated.afraid.worried.unsettled.uneasy.disappear.lie.truth.heart.head.decisions.methods.steps.plans.romance.feelings.relationship.parents.ideal.troubles.storm.shit.sigh.sleepy.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Manga Review:Hadashi de Bara wo Fume

Manga: Hadashi de Bara wo Fume
Genre: Historical, Romance, Shoujo
Status: Ongoing

Story:
It's about a poor girl whose parents has passed away long ago. Her only kin is her older brother whose job is a host and her family members are abandon kids whom her brother picked up from the streets.

One faiftful encouter with a rich man has lead her to have a wealthy lifestyle. However, she must give up everything that she has now. Her family and her love. She has to marry a man she cannot fall in love and has to abide the rules of the high society.

It's a story where politics play a subtle part and also how this girl has set her determination to pass thru all obstacles ahead. Being played aound in the palm of the young rich man and his butler. How is she going to come out of it? will she be able to gain anything valuable and priceless?

This story may not be as exciting as the other mangas, but if you're bored and has nothing to do. This manga may be one of the best you can find to kill them and keep you entertained.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Manga Review: Mademoiselle Butterfly

Manga: Mademoiselle Butterfly
Genre: Historical, Romance, Drama, Shoujo
Status: Completed. 9 chapters.

Story:
It talks about an apprentice Geisha back in the 1900s by the name of *Butterfly. She was sold when she was 9 years old because of poverty. However, the only lucky thing for her is that her neighbour who lives beside the Geisha house she works in, happens to be a young chap who always look after her.

He is from a rich family and his father is a well known paintist. His brother is a wealthy businessman, however due to some incident that happened in the past, he left house and became a tattooist. And so, every day Butterfly would visit him during her free time and requested for him to paint on her wrist. From here, that's how their love for each other develop.

However, things did not goes as smoothly as they have planned. Because of the war, the young tattooist has to leave her behind to go to the front line. He leaves her in the care of his older brother and father, and at that time when he leaves, she is already carrying his child, a twin.

After many years, the war did not end and they could only communicate via mail, until one faithful day he stops sending her letter for a year and the next thing she know, she receives the notification that he died during the war.

Left alone with her 2 children who are 4 years old, the father and the brother. She has almost given up her life and did not want to live anymore. At the time, it was her 2 children who gave her the courage to move on in life and to be stronger as a mother of 2, to protect her children just like how he protected her in the past.

*note that a Geisha does not uses her real name but their "Geisha" name. So in this case, Butterfly is that young lady's Geisha name.

This story gives a different feeling unlike other romance manga/manhwa that I have read so far. Only for this manga, I have decided to skip some parts of the story. Whatever that was written in here is not the full story and it does not end with the last paragraph.

If this interests you, you may want to try reading. It is a short series and a fulfilling one.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Saturday Night Fever!

Had to work on a Saturday morning, Eve of a public holiday...How sad can that be...and what makes it worst is that the music school i'm working in held a concert and i was the MC for that morning...Although it sounds like i'm complaining, it is one of the most fun saturday nights i ever had.

The concert was a success, and though there were a few unforeseen circumstances, i manage to get through with it. Trust me, i was nervous all the while when I was speaking infront of the audiences and half way through, it burns out so much of my energy that i can hear my stomach talking to me. I was afraid that the growling was too loud that it can be heard over the mic. LOL. luckily it didn't.

After me, it's siew mei's turn to MC in the afternoon. She was pretty nervous herself but she did well. and same as me, she felt hungry half way through. But looking at all those kids playing on the piano and violin, really makes me happy. They may not be my students of my children, but somehow i enjoyed watching their performance on stage.

The Seimpi gang headed towards malaysia for a trip, siew mei headed out for steamboat at the singapore flier and as for me, i headed out to meet the CSC gang at ion orchard and orchard hotel. and the journey of coma-ing begins.

We shopped a bit at ion, and it's damn freaking crowded and packed with human beings at every corner. We had to queue for like more than 45mins to get a table for dinner at some teppanyaki store. however, the wait is not wasted and i shared with sam kimchi chicken rice. although she did most of the cooking part, i helped out a bit here and there. yea, just a bit of here and there. lol

Des, Gerard, Travis and Tina bought like 6 bags of stuff from NUM. most of it are Havainas slippers. well, that's because it was on 50% discount on 2nd item. but it is till maddness. we got tired and hungry from waiting for them, that we headed down to the basement to grab some bite before our dinner.

Early in the morning, they went out to sentosa. It looks fun but i didnt get a chance to go with them. I wished i did since it has been a while. Anyway, there is always more to come.

After all the shopping and dinner at ion, we went back to the hotel to rest for the night. the room was amazingly small and there is a big hole on the wall that links to the toilet. so in other words, those who are not in the toilet can see who ever is in the toilet and vice versa. thank goodness there is a blind but still it feels unsafe.

we started playing guessing numbers. and i tagged team with sam, marc and edward. edward is amazingly good at it. and marc's hand can stop shivering. it was damn funny. clement, gerard, tcf and travis form up a team against ours. we lost quite a number of rounds and before we know it, we drank quite a lot.

Gerard, who is the culprit for edwards strange behaviour, was happily mixing "orange juice" with vodka. that "orange juice" had no juice left inside but more vodka. omg. and the drinks he mixed for us, taste like vodka shots. and i drank so much that my stomach burns. all thanks to gerard. but i wasn't dead drunk. i know my limits. =)

edward helps me drink quite a bit after the other 2 knock out and as a result, he pukes and ended up sleeping in the bath tub. poor gerard has to dry him with a hair dryer. it was damn funny. and then, everyone fell asleep after that. all of us had a long day and was really tired by 4am.

it's a crazy night but we had lots of fun. it has been quite sometime since i last hang out with csc gang and i really had my fun. i will be lookng forward to more cray things from them.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Trip to Philippines

Hi all, i'm finally back from my tourny in philippines, manila. I had my fun and really enjoyed myself.

Bowling was avaerage, i think that i've already did my best but it just that i'm not good enough to win. anyways, the scores ain't on abf website, you've got to go to www.jbowlmart.com to see the scores for the qualifying and masters.

As usual, the scores are like monsters. So, basically i was bowling with a bunch of monsters and some human that has not yet transformed into one. in other words, it's an unripe monster, LOL. kidding. but the scores are really damn high.

putting that all aside, manila may be the capital of philippines, but it is not as developed as you think it would be. there are children out there in the streets that will come to you to ask for money. there are at least one security guard in every shops and there are security everywhere. it felt safe and yet unsafe.

played in the casino and lost about 5000pesos. convert it to SGD and that will be roughly $240. Roulette is fun but Bacarat has more chance of winning. Jackpot is stupid, but still there are people winning. like my lucky room mates who made their winnings through jackpot.

the food there is very salty and the drinks there are very sweet. their mangos are damn nice. especially thei ice-cream. the bowling centre has a very unique design with pillars in between lanes.

guess what, that centre has 39 lanes. weird isn't it? so i asked, does the number here starts with 0? everyone's laughing. lane 39 is just some odd lanes out of nowhere. the lane number starts with 1.

but oh well, bowling will all the pillars out of nowhere makes it challenging. although it's irritating and annoying since i always hit the pillars, this is what makes this game interesting and fun. came in 7th for classified. cash out a bit and it went back to the casino.

nothing much to shop and i've beenon my room watching animes half of the time. missed singapore food and was really tired since our flight is at 4pm and we were at the airport at 2pm. flight turbulence was terrible when we went, but it was better when we came back.

catching up on my animes and mangas updates. seems like i didn't miss out too much. will be back to training on wednesday and tomorrow is my only day off. gonna rest to my heart's content.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Manga Review: The Bride of the Water God

Title of Manga: The Bride of the Water God
Genre: Shoujo, romance, supernatural, historical
Status: Ongoing

Story:
This comic isthe first korean manhwa I've read and thought that it was really good.

The setting of the story goes all the way back to our chinese ancient history. Where gods and demons exist in different dimensions.

This story evolves around a relationship between a god and a human. Unlike from those we usually see on shows where gods and human cannot fall in love, here in this story it is not at all impossible.

It talks about this young beautiful girl by the name of Soah, from a poor family in a supisitious village. She was offered as a bride to the Water God, known as Habaek, as a price to pay to end their drought.

When she arrives at the Water Kingdom and met Habaek, to her surprise it is actually a young boy around the same age as her little sister.

Never did she expects that the man she only comes to meet at night, Mui, is the original form of Habaek, who is the young boy she only meets in the day.

However, Mui who is the Habaek has a dark secrets that he never revealed to anyone and it seems that all the other people Soah met in the Water Kingdom seems to be hidding something.

In a unkown environment with no one she could turn to for help, she has to strive her way through and to survive the ordeal and also, to answer her own desires as to who she really loves.

As for Habaek, he seems to have a past that keeps haunting him and the people serving him are all not exactly loyal to him.

Having said that, he used to love one human women by the name of Nakbin but was killed by her own brother. He always make a promise to her that as long as it is Nakbin, he will always come back to her.

But Nakbin who is supposed to be dead, has returned not too long after Habaek has taken in his bride, Soah.

Soah, who has been proposed to by Habaek was put in a test when Habaek was drugged by Nakbin, to make Habaek fall completely head over heals for Nakbin.

Will Soah be able to be together with Habaek?
Will Habaek be able to fight his fate and be with the girl whom he truly loves?
What is the Great Emperor scheming and who is Nakbin that has reappeared when she is supposed to be dead?

This story will make you want for more and there is always a twist in it that makes it interesting to read.

I enjoyed reading it and I read it twice. Amazing, isn't it?

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Capturing Moments

It just one of those days when you are taking a long bus ride home and then you started thinking back of the good old days and memories from the past starts flowing into you. Yea, it's just one of those days.

I've been thinking ever since that night where we asked about your dishonesty and made you cry, I wonder what good does it bring to any body. If you come to think about it, it benefits nobody. However, I've already gotten your answer very clearly and so I won't dig into it. I'm more or less prepared for this long time ago.

Despite that, I will not deny that I really had my fun, laughter and joy when you were around. I bet the others think alike too :)
You were probably the friend that I had whom is always on the go to do things. Ever ready for play, ever ready for fun and silly things.

Although I really hated that fact that you don't pick up your phone, guess that's you and even your parents had it tough when comes to this. I can so totally understand that. But at the end of the day, you've really been a great friend to me.

Casting all these aside, the another YOU started talking to me casually. and THAT is very bad for my heart. VERY BAD! The fact that you stopped talking to me has been for quite a while, so what's with this suddenly friendly thing from you.

Boys are just boys. They are hard to understand and hard to comprehend. Yes yes yes, I knew that long ago. Plus, we will always bump into each other because we are all training at the same venue and at the same time.

I thought that I could slowly get over it, but each time I thought that I'm starting to let it go, each time you KEEP appearing for no special reason. Sigh. Why can't you just be normal? This feeling is just like, I'm about to deliver my shot and then my thumb got stuck and I have to swing my ball back so that I can catch it in time and wouldn't foul.

But anyway, I have a feeling that this wouldn't last.Probably like after today, you will be back to your old self again. SO, I will have to start to stop thinking unnecessarily. Oh boy, that is sure tough. Sigh. Well from ancient times, issues dealing with emotions are always tough. So, just hack it!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Manga Review: AI WO UTAU YORI ORE NI OBORERO!

Title of Manga: AI WO UTAU YORI ORE NI OBORERO!
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romace, School life, Gender Bender, Shoujo

Story:
There is an all girl's school called Saint no Bara, which means Saint Rose and an all boy's school called Dankaisan.

In Saint nobara, there is a girls band called Blaue Rosen who is admired by many students. Within them, there is a very charming prince looking guitarist, Mizuki. Everyone calls her Mizuki-sama. There is also another charming band member named Shun who is their vocalist.

However, due to some reasons, Shun was selected to go to New York to further her education and that leaves Blaue Rosen without a vocalist. At this moment, a person by the name of Akira appears and wants to be Blaue Rosen vocalist. Despite that. Mizuki would not accept any other vocalist except for Shun, but Akira's singing is way to attractive that Mizuki cannot ignore.

In the end, through a vocalist selection, Akira was selected to be Blaue Rosen's vocalist. With this, it sparks off a series of events that makes you laugh and have you feel a tingling feeling at times. This is all because Akira is in Dankaisen and is regarded as their princess.

Akira who is a princess in an all boy's school and Mizuki who is regarded as the prince in an all girl's school. This sure makes a very interesting combination.

This is an interesting manga series that is short, simple and sweet. It has only 29 chapters with 30 pages for each chapter.

I enjoyed reading it and I hope manga readers would enjoy it too. A change in the type of manga once in a while is a good thing. =)

Have a nice weekend.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Manga Review: Hana to Akuma

Title of Manga: Hana to Akuma
Genre: Shoujo, romance, comedy, supernatural & fantansy

Feelings:
Hana to Akuma translate to english is known as flower and devil. It talks about a devil who seems to be a candidate for the next Demon King, left the demon world and started living in the human world along with buttler.

On one snowy night, he picks up a human girl who has been abandoned in front of his gate and from then on, many things happen and that either strengthened or weakens their relationship. the demon, ViVi, who named the human child, Hana, has encounter countless accidents.

This manga is still ongoing, however, it may not be fantastic novel of any kind, it sure has a tingling feeling to it as you read more.

It keeps you at suspense and sometimes, you thought you knew what the plots are, it catches you by the slightest surprise.

A nice and heart warming manga. No harm reading during your free time.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Anime Review: Nodame Cantabile

First Season: Nodame Cantabile
Second Season: Nodame Cantabile Paris Hen
Statues: Completed
Genre: Musical, Drama, Shoujo, Comedy, Manga

Story:
Chiaki Shinichi is a talented young man who can play piano and a violin very well. Both his parents are well-known musicians in the music industry. His mother, Seiko is a world known pianist and his father Chiaki-san is also a well known violinist.

It may seem that he has a promising future either as a pianist or violinist, however his interests lies in being a conductor of an orchestra / ensemble. He tried to pursue his dream and went against his family's wishes and against his greatest fear of all times; flying on a plane and the sea.

He met this another young lady who is not so elegant nor brilliant, but has a very nice personality and plays the piano well. She is Noda Megumi and everyone calls her Nodame. Her piano has made Shinichi realised many wonderful things in life.

She has also helped him in the most slightest way in helping him to fulfill his dream being a conductor. Along the way, he has also slowly fallen in love with her. But Nodame has her own problems as well. She can play well on the piano, but she totally cannot understand music scores.

Nodame who has difficulties in struggling for her music, is also a slow and bothersome at times to Shinichi. The both of them who has a different character and different direction in their goals in life, who in the fell in love with each other bit by bit. How would their realation and music career will end up?

This anime has made me fall in love with classical music. When the ensemble plays, it really moves my heart. A heart warming anime that is definitely worthwhile watching. It makes you realised that you have a very artistic side of yourself. =)

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Anime Review

Title of anime: Higashi no Eden
Alternate title: Eden of the East
Status: Completed
Genre: Shounen, Action, Adventure, Mystery, Drama

Story:
There is this man who created a brilliant system with a corceive by the name if Juiz. Juiz is able to process any request from anyone.

This man chooses eleven young people whom he thinks worthy off to play a game that he invented. Each of them are given a cellphone that has a 10 billion yen credit. This cellphone will directly connect them to Juiz and it can also be use as an ordinary phone.

They have to follow the basic rules of the game and in an event if they failed to do so, they will be killed by a person called the supportor. This supportor can be either one of the eleven of not. He will not reveal.

The rules are:
1. In the event where you used up 10billion yen and did not accomplished the objective.
2. In the event where u did not use the credit within the deadline of the game and decide to withdraw.
3. This game will only have one winner and the rest will have to die

Hence, this players participated in this game knowing the rules. There is a specific time line to use the cash but there is no specific time line to finish the game. The supportor will decide the winner.

As it is only a short anime with 11 episodes, it is best that I do not reveal any more information and details on the anime. If not it will be as good as i dictate the entire anime plot and scenes to you.

If interested, please go and watch this anime. It is worthwhile.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Before it is too late.

There's a saying that goes like this " you need to make up a thousand of lies, to cover up for one lie you've made." I couldn't agree any more to that.

I may not seem to be the one who bother about asking, but it does not mean I'm not aware of it. I may look like this, but I'm sharp when comes to things like this. You may be able to fool your friends, but at the end of the day you cannot fool yourself.

Until you have realised what you have done, it will be too late for you to make it up. You lied to everybody including to yourself. The outcome is that no one benefits from it and it is the nagetive effect that you will suffer. Have you not learnt your lessons? I wonder. Maybe that is what you've always wanted. Sympathy.

I can understand that there are certain things you would not want your friends, family members or anyone to know. But there is no need to lie, you just don't have to say it. But the moment it involves with another person, you know it will leak out sooner or later. No point hiding.

Paper can never cover for fire. There's a reason why people said that. Because it is true. If you dare to do it, then you will have to admit it. People make mistakes in life, who doesn't? Even God is not perfect, what can expect from us, who are mere humans?

I am surprised as to how *Euphoria (Not the real name) can make up impossible lies, But I am even more amused when you, who is the same as Euphoria, can condemn her about her lies. To be honest, you are not anywhere better.

The reason why you still have friends and Euphoria doesn't is because, your lies meant no harm to anyone. But that doesn't mean that you are telling a white lie. Speaking about hypocrites and how much you disliked them, you are just one of them in case if you didn't know.

Leopard can never change its spot. We all know that. Despite that, humans are kind by nature and we will always give chances, hoping that the person will turn over a new leaf. However, these people will usually take it for granted.

All these while there were many things, I didn't say and I know you haven't been very honest as well. Since, you are about to leave soon then I guess this game is about to end. I've asked myself many times, why do I play this game with you?

The answer is simple. You look so awkward until the extend that it is pitiful. It true that it humours me from time to time and you never fail to amuse me with your lies. Beautiful yet sad lies. All these only protrays a bad image of you, when your reputation hasn't been very good to start with.

The brain is like a space. That absorbs anything and everything. That can transform everything to nothing. Is it your personality? or is it your brain that is the problem? That causing you to make up such lies with such wonderful words. Too bad I didn't study pyschology.

A mental illness? I doubt so. It is just you. Pushing all the blames on to anything. Even the country is at fault. You, who has been constantly running away from your troubles, will always find that trouble will keep troubling you till the end.

You have never truely made friends with anyone. Although I know that it is hard to find true friends in life, it is not impossible. I found my true friends. A few is a treasure. If you're lucky, you may have more than a few.

Things aren't going to explode like a volcano. There will be no one out there to broadcast this either. No one bothers, I would say. That's why is pitiful. In other words, people have given up on you. Maybe that's what you've always wanted all along.

What ever reasons, motives or intentions you have behind all these lies you've made. I believe you have already acheived your goal. Congratulations!

It may be a good start for you but past is past, history is history. It will always and forever be there. People will remember you for who you are now. This will always remain in them until the end of their journey. Maybe that's what you wanted.

Anyway, this is my last piece of advice to a friend. Before it's too late.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Manga Review

Title of Manga: MARS

Story:
MARS talked about the darkness in people and how some of them can overcome it and how some cannot. It has a little of romance, violence and tragedy that makes you keep wanting for more. It has a different vibe in the story that is able to leave an impression in your mind.

Synopsis of the story:
Kashino family runs a huge business, Oak Group, which is fairly well known in the business realm. They have 2 sons, Akihiko, the younger brother died in a car crush during car racing. The elder brother took over the Oak Group. (forgot what's the name of the elder brother, let's call him Kashino)

Akihiko was loved by many people including his father. Hence, from young their father has been bias for Akihiko and the elder brother was a left out. Akihiko has a lover but that woman was eventually married to the Kashino.

After Akihiko died, his lover gave birth to a twin brother. Elder brother is called Rei and the younger one is called Sei. Kashino, despite knowing that these children belongs to Akihiko, he still raised them as his own because he was not able to have children.

However, the mother didn't believe that the Kashino would love Akihiko's children and, she who has a terrible temper and loves her children so much that in the end she suffers from mental illness. She even attempt to kill Rei once and after that incident she was immediately sent to a mental hospital.

Not long after she's discharged, she committed suicide. At that time both Rei and Sei were still too young to understand what death is. Kashino was left in despair that both his brother, wife and father are no longer in this world and he himself wasn't too sure how to be a father of 2.

Under the recommendation of his friend, who is a psychiatrist, who is the doctor in charged of his wife, to send his children to a relative who lives in L.A for the time being until Kashino's emotions are stable.

When in L.A they were put under one of the relatives' care. Rei who has a violent temper is a total oppposite of Sei who loves art and is a good boy. Rei promised his mother that he will protect his younger brother who is often the subject of bully.

Things progressed in a negative manner when Rei attempt to kill one of the bullies who always pick on Sei. When they moved back to Japan, Sei commited suicide in front of Rei. Rei was in a shock and he lost all his memories and also, suffered from mental illness. Hence, Rei's memories as a child were vague and unclear.

Rei who loves motorcycle racing, starts to be more human like after meeting this girl, Kira Aso who eventually became his wife. Rei confessed his sins and feelings to Kira and she has helped him to cope and overcome his mental illness.

Aso Kira has a tragic past where she was rape by her step father and that leaves a scar in her. Her wound was so deep that she became an introvert. As for her, it was Rei who has helped her to step out from her comfort zone.

These couple has met many obstacles and people that has caused them pain. Such as Masao Kirishima who also suffered from a mental illness, a very serious mental illness that has resulted him to kill and injured many other people.

Slowly, step by step, they build up their bond between them and their future. From a delinquent teenager to a grown up man and how they have overcome difficulties with their friends' help. They who have beared the costs, have also taste the sweetness of the fruit of the outcome.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Memories Are Nice

While casually having a chat with my dad today, we spoke about my childhood years and all the people that I've met and how we seperate along the way. That's where I remembered my childhood playmates that I had back then when NSRCC was still called Changi Safra.

Hilda, Janice, Cheryl, Eunice, Jasmine, Camille are the names that sounds familiar to me now but yet seems so distant. I have 2 of them on my facebook and so I decided to check them out since I have the time today. We are all really leading a life so different from when we're young.

I guess I did not change pretty much since bowling has always been the main focus in my life from when I was young till now. But to them, who has gave up bowling, they lead a very different lifestyle. I would say, normal girl's teenage life. Did I missed out a lot? I wonder to myself.

Time really can change a person. They, who used to be a daddy's girl, have now become trendy, party and happening young ladies. As for me, who used to be naughty girl has become pretty much a daddy's girl. What a total opposite we are now.

Say, life is strange isn't it? Maybe, somewhere down the road in my life, I might run into them again. Will we still be the same again? Probably not. It's kinda hard to be how we used to be since we are all different now. For the better or worst, no one knows.

How many years has it been and I still can remember all that has happened to us back in Changi Safra. When did I even stop going there? How did we stop contacting each other? I cannot recall. Well, I do have good and bad memories from there but it doesn't really matters now, right?

Anyway, memories are nice. =)

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Feeling Sick

As I have more spare time now, I have started reading manga and just finished reading this manga series "Special A". It's really a damn good manga. Although some of the things inside is a bit ridiculous, that's what makes manga interesting to read isn't it?

Special A refers to a class classification. They are made up of the top 7 students in an elite school. They have their own school campus which is called the Campus Paradise which is another building of its own apart from the main campus where ordinary students attend and also it is, where they will spent their free time in a green house especially build for them.

I love this story because there is a sweet sensation to each of the characters' love story. How they fell in love and how they overcome the obstacles that lies ahead of them. When they discover their feelings for each other, how they convey to the other person through various means.

It's not very fantastic but it is something worth reading. There's a reason why it is placed second in the top viewed shoujo manga. It brings me back to my old school days although I'm not anyway near any of the characters illustrated inside. It is the fun they had and enjoying every moment as a student.

Ever since Saturday's victory banquet, I haven't been feeling well at all. I had a fever that shoots up to 38.6 degrees on Saturday night after movie with steffi and gang. It went down to 38.4 on Sunday when I went to work and slowly to 37.4 at night and on Monday morning it went down to 36.9 degrees which is my normal body temperature.

Although my fever subsided, it comes together with cough and flu. My head was spinning really bad with the flu and I cannot sleep peacefully because of that. Hence, it resulted me taking afternoon naps more often than I usually do.

I drank like tons of water and have to go to toilet like every hour. But it reeally does help in making me feeling better. But my eyes are still puffy and head is still spinning. The coaches actually had to send me home the moment I reached the training venue. Wasted trip and they wanted me to see a doctor. Which is something I don't really enjoy doing.

Guess I will have to make a trip down to my family doctor and have a check up. Hopefully it's not swine. Damn, of all times I have to fall sick now. My dad says it because I overexert myself and that is the main reason why my body system collapsed. I believed so.

Flu Flu please go away. Cough Cough please stop coughing. Eyes Eyes please get better. I got a feeling my eyesight has been detoriating but oh well, I will improve it by staring at more trees and grasses.

I wanna get back on to the lanes to start training. Usually when I'm sick, by bowling will improve my condition but i didnt expect the coaches to send me home today. zzzzzzz......maybe I should start looking around for some manga to read or play some games in Facebook or maybe start watching my animes.

I wanna get well soon....

He stops talking to me. Well, I should have see that coming.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Pissed

Yes, I am pissed. Pissed by the fact that I wasn't allowed to bowl anymore because it was late and it wasn't my fault that the squads delayed till this late. If it would have started on time, It wouldn't be "late" already right? And so, they reap the benefits and I bear the costs. Well done, give a round of applause people!

I'm always amazed by how these "people" can find thousands and millions of "excuses" to abuse their authority. You know what, there's something call Karma. You will get it soon. Sometimes, justice is a little slow. I understand that.

For once, ONCE! I didn't make it into the finals. Oh Fuck! I cannot believe how much I've lose out in my own game. How much further down am I going, I wonder? How far more must I climbed to be where I used to be? How did I even manage to make it that far in the past? I seriously wonder, when did I start falling down till I reach this stage that I'm in. When was it?

A little history about myself that some of you may not know. I started bowling at the age of 15 and made it into the National Youth at the age of 15 and to the National Team ( which is currently known as the Elite Team) at the age of 16. I've been in the National Team for about 5 Years before I was demoted to the Intermediate Squad 2 years back and now, I'm demoted to Development.

I asked myself this "Why are you still bowling and staying in the team?" "Why did you let yourself fall until you're treated like some other newbie in the team? "Why are you still holding on to the placement in the team?

I did not find a honest answer to my questions and I am still asking myself these questions. Is the bowling world really changing towards the other kind and not mine? Than what's left in bowling when there are no challenges anymore? How do I create miracle once more?

Look here, I'm a perfect example of a discarded product that has failed their expectations. Aunty Alice was cruelly kicked out from the squad. Jennifer is barely hanging in there. And me, I am already at the doorstep, waiting for someone to kick my ass out of this team. Reality is cruel.

I hate to admit it but this is what the bowling world is telling me. So how now brow cow? Well, I shouldn't be taking it too seriously. But once I leave the team, I will lose all contacts with my friends now. That is one thing I don't really want to see it happening. Especially when I'm the type who is not really good at making the first moves.

Friends are the reason why I still want to be in the team.

Now, I really need to figure out how am I supposed to pick myself up from all this mess. Though i'm not the one who created this mess, but since I'm in it, I'd better figure a way out unless I quit bowling.

Show me some guidance man....I'm feeling so tired....

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Complains

The aircon in this office is so damn not cold. Like a sauna. Air con engineers, please hurry up and fixed these air-cons....its far toooooo hot.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Dead Tired

Thought that when my exams are done, i'll have more time and more space. Never did i expect myself to squeeze every single available time slot i have to work, bowl, eat, sleep and maybe shit.

Work load is forever never ending. Never knew why. One waves after another. Don't they evey feel tired. My battery is running low now. Singapore open is tiring. 5 bowlers to a pair is not A JOKE. it's damn freaking slow. I almost slept while bowling. That is HOW SLOW it was. omg.

Not too sure if I would be able to qualify and hopefully i could. At least let me win something this year before i quits the team. Life is sooooo tiring. We can figure anything out, except for life.

This little friend of mine, is facing some hell problems now. More like she is living in hell. (that's what she thought). Actually, things ain't that bad. She can always start all over again. It's allright to watse this year. It's a learning experience and if she is willing. She can always start from scratch. It's tough, but it is not as if it is not going to work.

Like a little lost lamb, she has not found her way back on life's track. Long before, i've already told her, she needs to think about her life. As a friend, that is how much i could do. there is nothing more i can help by just advicing because ultimately it is her decision on how she wants to live or watse her life away.

Sometime i've kinda pity her for not being able to mature from her mistakes. It makes me wonder, how many times must she fall in order for her to understand what life really is. Not that i'm very experienced in it, at least i know what i'm in for.

She is probably the first person i've ever met that is so screwed up in the inside. When i stand from a parents' point of view, i wonder what would i do if she were to be my child. At this point, i'm glad that i've always have such great parents. Actually it is also because i'm a good girl by nature too. =) smiles.

Everyone has their own problems. Every families have their own troubles. What may fit me most may not be what fits the other person best. All i could do now, as a friend, to stand by her and help he through her toughest time. That's my role.

There is probably another thing i need to discipline myself more. I realised that is has been my weakest spot all this time. yes. I know. Don't have to keep reminding me that. Well, and that is relationship. I'm always too concern with what others may think and stuff like this.

Now i've decided. poker face. :) yea. I have to be not affected by it. Will not ignore, will not avoid, will not approach, will not question, will not consider and WILL treat everyone naturally. Actually, i am treating all my friends naturally and equally. So even to those who is .... .... .... whatever, will also pretend i didnt know and treat them naturally as well. It will make my life so much easier.

Ok, deal. that's gonna do. I will just do with it first.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Goes one and comes another...

I shall declare that today i'm a happy girl. *screams* You can never imagine how relief I felt the moment i stepped out of the examination hall. In order to end it earlier, I walked out 15mins earlier then usual. Didn't bother to check my answes. That's how eager I was to get out of the examination hall.

While I was doing my paper today, I've already start to plan what should I eat along the way. Orange Julius? BK Onion Rings? and then I started thinking, when should I bowl my MQ and should I go work this friday. That shows how distracted I was during examination condition.

Well hopefully I can qualify by this Friday for Singapore open so I don't have to go down to Mt Faber Safra again cause it's just too damn freaking far for me to travel down regardless whether I'm working or from home.

Now I have 2 worries in my mind. One is what if I cannot qualify for Singapore open? I will be so damn freaking sianzzzz... Second is I hope August don't come so soon. August is the month where the UOL will release our results. Trust me, I do not wish to collect my results. I'm afriad that I might just get heart attack and die. Also, I might caused my parents to have high blood pressure.

Jeez, just when I though I can forget about studies and books, I have to worry for my results. OMG. But oh well, what's done cannot be undone. So hack it! I dun really give a DAMN!

Ok, HOLIDAYS!!!! but the swine is getting serious. Singapore already have one confirmed case. That makes travelling abroad kinda difficult now isn't it? Sad :( damn the swine man, just screw it.

How comes that "SWINE" is not being quarantined yet? they should have just lock her up at some zoo together with some other pigs. Ok, that's random. She didnt offend me anyway, i'm being mean here. but what to do, everytime I talked about SWINE. It just reminds me of her. LOL

Facial. Yeap, i'm going for facial with Siewmei next monday!!!!!!! am so happy about it. Siewmei is nice enough to change her appointment to suit mine so that we can go down together coz I dunnot how to go to that facial place. Ain't she nice? So God, please ask the marker to give her another few more marks for her papers. Kindness begets kindesss right?

Work, bowl, eat, sleep , shit...ok i'm back to my usual routine. But at least now I have a little more time than usual. Maybe I should visit my lecturers again to disturb them...muhahaha...oh yea, i forgot something. I need to complete reading books. I've promised to finish reading Hack and then Angels & Demons and then Marley & Me. If i'm not wrong, i think i promised Kawai that I'll read Harry Potter too. I think.

Sianz....but oh well reading helps to improve in my english before some one keeps complaining i'm like a Ah Sum. OMG.

I think I will read my manga, watch my animes first. Then read the story books! hahaha....okok, think i'm blogging too long. Shall end here.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Man

people are getting weirder these days. Maybe it's the weather. Or maybe studying has make my brain overworked and am thinking too much. yes. that has to be it. ok, back to studying.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Fun Day Out

Didn't have the chance to blog last night cause when out with steffi and kawai and only reached home at about 1am and we had training the following day in the morning. Disasters!

We met up for a movie marathon yesterday. We watched wolverine and then angels & demons. omg, the 2 movies are really the best. If we had more time andmore money, we would have night at the museum 2. LOL.

The next few movies we are looking at is drag me to hell. it's a damn scary show but I like =) muhahah, and steffi is still as timid as ever..*sighs* guessed like my horro movie partner got to be Ka. So sad. coz Ka is too noisy when she's in the movie. She kept asking my questions when i need to FOCUS on my movies. LOL. but can't blame her, she's just curious. Young girl mah.

AT plaza sing, I saw this damn awesome shop and it's called the OTAKU-SHOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG, they sell a lot of damn COOOOLLLLL stuffs.....*SCREAMS* I want to work there so i can wear the VK uniform and some kimono. Actually it's not a kimono, it feels more like a yukata. but oh well, it doesnt matter. I JUST WANT TO WEAR!!!!!!!!!!

Damn, if only cosplay in singapore is as popular as in japan. zzzzzz....well, a day out with the realy lightens my mood a bit. I thought i needed a break and i really do need one. Chatting with them, gossiping and laugh together. really brings me back to life. eh, i mean i do have life btu not that frequent.

I tried to study in the morning but failed terribly. Damn so i need to do all the catching up today. and i need to train for singapore open which is damn tiring and i hate to plot my MQs cos the timing is all so weird. and my work....zzzzzz i'm starting work this thursday...ARgh, i wish my no-pay-leave was forever.

okok, i better sleep now if not tomorrow cannot wake up in time for work. then it will be dks, ggxx and g game man...boss will sack me soon if i keep this up...hahahahaha....anyway, i will be looking forward to another day out with the girls like this. =)

oh yea, for some strange reason tiacpin is damn nice today, he treated me to lunch and also bubble tea for greg. maybe he strikes lottery yesterda?! but when mw and greg asked him, he said he lost $50 due to pin 7. Maybe he dont want the karma...hahahaha...later kena swine...lol...kiddin.

OKOKOK, i really need to go back to bed...