For what you are made of

I have been inactive online for quite some time and that is because i am enjoying to my heart's content my 2 weeks holiday before i start work again this monday. Read the girl's blog and somehow it seems to me that she is facing another problem. Girl, i'm sure that you have noticed this yourself but it seems that you always happen to be at the extreme ends of this relationship. either you're always too happy and cheerful to the point that you would probably marry him or too distracted and frustrated to the point of cutting him off from your life forever.

Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must prepared for changes. Girl, this whole thing is taking a toll on you and perhaps it is really time to put a stop to it before it gets you deeper and then you will feel even more lost than usual. and because things are the way they are, things will not stay the way they are. and you will need to take the first step to make a change so that you could move on with your life.

You will be surprise with how much human can adapt to the changes in the surrounding with the help of time. it's a habit to have the boy around you, its not lonely with the boy around you and you have adapted to it because the boy is around you. WAIT! stop and think, you did have your share of fun now, but you also had your share of laughter in the past when that boy was not around.

Managing a relationship is not easy but it's not supposed to be that tough too. I know you're feeling guilty and all, and all along you are aware of that but at the same time, you are trying to shove that thought deep down somewhere in your memory each time you are with the boy, with every assurance he can give you. but you know, at the end of the day, that boy, whom you have given everything to him, did not choose definitely to be with you.

Women as we are, are easily fooled by sweet words, empty promises, obvious lies and irresistible body gestures. One word can ease your doubts, one promises can give you happiness that would last for a lifetime and one hug could sweep away all your saddness. However, if those are not true, the setback will be harder to bear. and women as we are, we always accept it and hope that time would heal those wounds. That is very silly.

Fairytales does not exist but happiness is something we fight to achieve. The definition defers from individuals so Girl, know what makes you happy the most. not those sweet moments of pretend from that boy but the genuine moments of happiness where you could really feel that he cares. Trust me, you deserve better than this. have a little more faith in yourself.

Love is a smoke made with fume of sighs. it can be magical at times, but magic itself is an illusion.

Know what's best for yourself. Be not afriad to try and fail. Be afriad of failing to try :)

Dance In The Rain

Babe, seems like everything is doing good now between you and the boy and you don't wanna jinx it by talking about it, so i will do so too :) all the best but you do know it's going to be a rocky relationship. in which ever way, persevere k >.<

Having more time in hand makes me wanna do more things. i have the urge to take up jap lessons, so anyone interested in joining me? i also have the urge to do archery. not too sure why. but the possibility of me being influenced by mangas and animes for that is absolutely high. you know cool those characters play the archery. omg. they look so man can....omg. why didnt i do archery in the past. argh, nevermind :) at least i did rock climbing before. cheers.

Just packed my room today and i found a ring that pilot gave to me long ago. somehow i started thinking back to those time we spent together. as usual, i really wonder how would it be like if i really were to get together with him. at the same time, i tried to recall why did i push him away back then. check up on facebook but it seems like he's not been active lately so the pictures are still the same as i last viewed several months back. you know how sometimes, it just got you thinking. i wonder if back then, if he would really persevered and stayed on, would i hand my heart to him fully? well, there's a possibility that may happen. afterall, he's courting me all the way back to when we were in secondary school. it has been 10 years since then. time flies.

you know how i used to ponder why would he be so insistent on our relationship. i'm always wondering if he really loves me for real and if it is really that case, how could he just left after all those that he had promised me. although we never really started, it is true that he indeed has given me his promises. where are they now? so talk is really cheap isn't it? i dont want to talk about him. i just feel so tired since it has always been the same old thing over and over again. and as i talked about pilot, woodblock would surface for some very strange reasons god knows why.

woodblock was my ideal man but he didnt have that feelings for me despite i thought he did. apparently i made a mistake but he was really thoughtful and thus sweet in his very own ways. all his little gestures can make me smile even now. it seems that what he did and what happened still remains so vivid and it was really funny when i think back. i regretted to taking the chance to ask at the night. he is still me ideal man though and after a long consideration, i have decided to use him as my benchmark later for any guys who happens to appear in my life.

after typing so much. i'm starting to miss woodblock a bit :)