Picking up pieces of myself

Hi peeps! I'm back from my nepal trip quite a few days ago but have been too busy recently and lazy as well, so didnt have the time to blog. I haven't even tag my photos yet, sigh, will do that soon.

Anyway, I want to Kathmandu and Pokhara in Nepal. Nice place with splendid view and scenery. Snowy moutains, beautiful sunrise and cooling weather helps me to feel refreshed as well as relaxed. Never really felt like this before back in Singapore since the day I stepped into adulthood. Sounds old. But true enough, i'm not young anymore.

Well, before the trip some stuff happened. Something I felt so embarrased about and something I felt super ashamed of myself. Fell for the same old trick, same old trap, same old me. Fuck! well, I don't really want to mention names but what happen is some modelling agent approached me, took pictures and videos, signed a "contract" and gave him a $100. Now, i'm on his web.

Well, I reap what I sow even though i regretted so badly after that. I really hated myself for that. I emailed and smsed him and ask for the removal of my media but he simply refuses and instead ask for a matchplay against me. a bowling of 3 games and winner call the shot. I asked him to fuck off.

Apparently I am still on his website and I am still bugging him to remove my profile. It boils down to the point that I really hated myself. Seriously, what the hell was I thinking back then. It's a shame that I never learn my lesson. I swear that I will never give a second thought to this kinda thing anymore. I still hate myself for that. Until the day he decides to take down my profile, I don't think I could forgive myself.

Sound serious right? It is. No joke.

Now that i'm being thrown back to reality, bowling sucks. yea, screw them. Besides I have been neglecting my studies so its about time i start picking it up. I still hate myself. Sigh.

I really hope that the stupid, brainless, idiotic, fucked up and annoying bastard, faggot, moron, asshole would remove my profile. everytime i talk about this, i hated myself even more. Please don't bring this up. I really hated it unless I need to vent my anger.

Casting all these aside, I really enjoyed Kathmandu. no worries, no cellphones, no laptops, no work, no burden. As light as the breeze, as free as the clouds. Although the living condition is very bad, it still feels nice and good to be there.

I want to feel like this again.