Dead Tired

Thought that when my exams are done, i'll have more time and more space. Never did i expect myself to squeeze every single available time slot i have to work, bowl, eat, sleep and maybe shit.

Work load is forever never ending. Never knew why. One waves after another. Don't they evey feel tired. My battery is running low now. Singapore open is tiring. 5 bowlers to a pair is not A JOKE. it's damn freaking slow. I almost slept while bowling. That is HOW SLOW it was. omg.

Not too sure if I would be able to qualify and hopefully i could. At least let me win something this year before i quits the team. Life is sooooo tiring. We can figure anything out, except for life.

This little friend of mine, is facing some hell problems now. More like she is living in hell. (that's what she thought). Actually, things ain't that bad. She can always start all over again. It's allright to watse this year. It's a learning experience and if she is willing. She can always start from scratch. It's tough, but it is not as if it is not going to work.

Like a little lost lamb, she has not found her way back on life's track. Long before, i've already told her, she needs to think about her life. As a friend, that is how much i could do. there is nothing more i can help by just advicing because ultimately it is her decision on how she wants to live or watse her life away.

Sometime i've kinda pity her for not being able to mature from her mistakes. It makes me wonder, how many times must she fall in order for her to understand what life really is. Not that i'm very experienced in it, at least i know what i'm in for.

She is probably the first person i've ever met that is so screwed up in the inside. When i stand from a parents' point of view, i wonder what would i do if she were to be my child. At this point, i'm glad that i've always have such great parents. Actually it is also because i'm a good girl by nature too. =) smiles.

Everyone has their own problems. Every families have their own troubles. What may fit me most may not be what fits the other person best. All i could do now, as a friend, to stand by her and help he through her toughest time. That's my role.

There is probably another thing i need to discipline myself more. I realised that is has been my weakest spot all this time. yes. I know. Don't have to keep reminding me that. Well, and that is relationship. I'm always too concern with what others may think and stuff like this.

Now i've decided. poker face. :) yea. I have to be not affected by it. Will not ignore, will not avoid, will not approach, will not question, will not consider and WILL treat everyone naturally. Actually, i am treating all my friends naturally and equally. So even to those who is .... .... .... whatever, will also pretend i didnt know and treat them naturally as well. It will make my life so much easier.

Ok, deal. that's gonna do. I will just do with it first.