Pondering

Gentle breeze, sounds of waves, golden sand and children playing on the beach. Nice scenic view. Something just strike into me today and maybe i should start to reconsider the way i live my life until now.

Recalled the conversation i had with one of my poly lecturers some time back, told him that i'm currently working full time, studying full time and bowling full time and then he asked me:"Why are you trying so hard?" "You need some rest and you need a life."

I pause for a while and i smiled and my reply was " i didn't want to idle around since i'm already not that young anymore."

Now that i'm looking back at my tight schedule and how much i have to struggle for my exams, and how much i'm complaining i have not enough time and want to have more sleep. i begin to wonder perhaps is my commitments that are choking me so much.

Should i give up on either one? what would it be? studies is impossible. work or bowling? well, i need to have income and i still want to bowl. resign from national sq? hmmm, thought of that before but there some other issues bothering me at the moment. If i didnt have those issues, i would have left the team long time ago.

What should i do now? *sigh* maybe i'll decide after i get back my results in August. Maybe i really need a life... hmmm, but knowing myself that i love to slack and do nothing, that's why i choose to schedule my time in a way that i don't have time to idle around. Am i really pushing myself that much?

Looks like i'm going to spend more time thinking about what i want in life again...