Thought that this year started with a blast of good things, however good things always come to an end fast and the next thing you know, bad luck befalls. Wonder why...
Things has been going a little out of hand today. It all happens so fast that I felt that I couldn't comprehend whatever that had happened. My dear little friend here is so upset with herself and I really do hope that after she cries it all out, she will be able to take braver step forward. As to what had happend, I do not wish to elaborate too much but the bottom line is: Everything is so screwed up.
I used to think that I'm a very careful person when comes to running away from punishment or not getting caught for breaking the rules. Never did I expect myself to overlook this matter and now that it has gotten into this state. Wonder who to blame. Perhaps, it wasn't anyone's fault to start with. Temptation was the main culprit.
Looking back, there were so many chances for me to stop this from happening. So many and yet, I let it slipped away. There are many other ways to repent our mistakes, but it seems like god always gave us the hardest route. Maybe it is always that we learn things the hard way. Human nature perhaps? I wonder why.
I could have stopped her from doing all these things. Although it may not be wrong, at the same time, it may not be right too. I didn't fulfill my role enough and thus, this incident occured. If I had, this could be prevented. Prevention is better than cure, I always believed in this and it is always never to late to apologize or to repent upon your mistakes.
Humans make mistakes, this is my favourite quote. Who don't know that. But do we just brush it off just by saying we're human and it is a norm that we make mistakes? No, we don't and we shouldn't. Admit our mistakes requires courage, accept it takes bravery, repent on it needs determination and then to reflect upon it.
From this incident, I could see myself better now. I tend to get swayed by people's decsion or emotions too easily. Even though I could differentiate what is right and what is wrong, but I couldn't put them into actions when it is necessary. To help my friends out of trouble. I failed to do so despite myself seeing this is what may happen.
I know that I am partially at fault here and I know that I can never turn back the hands of time. My friends have already fallen into this bottomless pit and here I am, only can watch them fall and sitting here so helplessly. There isn't much I can say at this point of time, all I can do is to listen and console them.
Who knows, I may be one of the 3 that the coaches are looking for. Of course, I hope I'm not but if i'm not then who will it be? It will still be one of my friends. A mixture of emotions I must keep inside myself. Wonder how this end up in this state.
Hopefully everything goes well and turns out well. May god bless those who are in this mess. Monday, the verdict day. Monday, which seems so far yet so close. Monday, which is so gloomy and seems so blue. To my little one, hope that you'll be fine.
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