Manga: Koi, Hirari
Genre: Romance, Shoujo, School life, Drama
Status: Completed. 12 Chapters
General Feel:
If you have read backstage prince before, this manga similiar to that. However, this has more heart-warming scenes that tickles your heart. A little unique from Backstage Prince something worthwhile reading.
Story:
It says about this young girl, Misaki Sumire, met her first love during her first winter back in her mother's hometown. It was New Year's eve when she met this young man, Kasuki, who happens to be a very famous traditional japanese dancer from a very famous dancing school.
That unexpected meeting has brought these 2 young people together and because of the difference in family background, they have made obstacles after obstacles. With a strong rivalry, Kasuki's younger brother, Haruka, it adds on to the diffculties this pair young lover is facing.
With all the commotion, public pressure, fiancees, rivalry and the main aspect of this story, which is the heart. How much would either parties willing to sacrifice so that the other party need not suffer. What trials they have to go through to achieve approval and blessings from everyone.
Please read them if you have the time.
If you like backstage prince, you would like this too. I've learnt something from this manga. About the treatment to someone who is precious to you. Well, I kinda feel that it's quite true to a certain extend.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Hope It Ends...And It Starts With Me...
Saturday...another long day for me. Had work in the morning till evening as usual and headed out to Siewmei's 21st birthday party at Aranda. Although i didnt buy her any presents, cause i really don't know what to buy, treated her to lunch on Wednesday as her present. That's probably the most sincere present i could give.
Anyway, old flame insisted on picking me up from work and to send me down to siewmei's chalet. Also, he wants to send me home after that. Well, so i took this chance to clarify matters with him. thank goodness he doesn't know that i have a blog.
While in his car on the way to Aranda, he asked how's my day and stuff and told me he kinda missed me. Honestly, that puts me in a damn difficult situation. I felt like i was about to murder some innocent man. Though, he's not that innocent anymore based on what i know and heard about him in the past.
Past may be in the past and we should not bother it too much, however, your past is the one damn good thing that haunts you forever. So even though he may be "nice and innocent" now, it does not deny the fact that he lost it once. That is not very fair for whoever comes after that. If you know what i mean.
Anyway, i did hint him by saying what if i'm not the girl who will walk beside him in the future and also i asked him what would he do if i leave. When a girl says that, it's kinda obvious and i know that he kinda already knows what i'm going to say next. Unfortunately, i've already arrived at Aranda and so i had to get out of the car and to attend the party.
After the party, he came to pick me up as promised and we continued our conversation from there. While driving me back, throughout the entire trip he never once let go of my hand. That puts me in a even more difficult and awkward position because i'm not too sure what am i supposed to do next. Should i brush his hands off? or should i just let him hold on to my hand? what should i do? and bla bla bla...worrying through the journey home.
We had a little chat at my house downstairs and so i told him that it would probably be our last time meeting each other because i wanted to draw the line and maybe we should not contact each other anymore. He kept asking if i could make out some time for him and all he asked was just another dinner or movie. But this time round, i rejected him firmly. no buts, no maybes, no see-hows. I said no.
As when his eyes became teary, i feel so cruel towards him. and it was then i couldnt tell him straight that he is not the man i truly want to be with. Because somewhere out there, whenever something happens, woodblock would surface in my mind. I know that's bad. But i can't help it. That is when i realised that old flame is really not the one for me.
I wanted to be honest for once, with old flame. like telling him whatever i said on my blog. Like how i don't feel the love from him and somehow some where doesn't feel quite right despite the fact that i know him for like 7 to 8 years. Also, he may have good career prospect and he may be able to provide me for my life **from a realistic point of view**, but i don't feel like being part of the picture with him.
My heart doesnt skip a beat when i'm with him. Maybe at first sight, my heart beats a little faster than usual. But after a while, i tend to worry instead of enjoying my time with him. When he held my hand, thoughts like "shit, what am i supposed to do now?" , "what if someone saw us?" , "should i push him away?" , "will i hurt his pride?" , "i dun want this" and etc... will come across my mind.
But that doesnt happen when it was with woodblock. I'm not using woodblock as my excuse to push old flame away. It's just that somehow, i dun feel right with old flame. Also, it's not like i'm expecting something out of woodblock. Eventually, i may find a better guy than him and i will move on in life and i may forget what woodblock has done for me.
That aside, after getting off the car and ignoring him. He smsed me and told me that he would probably need some time to get over me and also, honestly he would do anything for us to be together. Tell you what, i didnt reply his sms. Am i doing the right thing? hope i did. don't want to mislead him or anything.
Time will heal. I hope it does. For him and for myself. I just hope that school can hurry start, training can hurry resume. So that I can keep myself busy and not think about anything. Not about old flame, not about woodblock. I just want to focus on my studies, bowling and work. Hang out with friends to chill. Mahjong. Sing K. Eat steamboat. Play L4D. or anything. gathering.
Relationship is troublesome. I knew that long ago. I shouldnt have bothered myself with all these unnecessary things at the moment, when i have other better things to do. Really. What have i gotten myself into. I brought this upon myself. If only, i hadnt gone out with him. Well, it's too late for that now. So, just be a little wiser next time. RUN, when you can see it coming.
Anyway, old flame insisted on picking me up from work and to send me down to siewmei's chalet. Also, he wants to send me home after that. Well, so i took this chance to clarify matters with him. thank goodness he doesn't know that i have a blog.
While in his car on the way to Aranda, he asked how's my day and stuff and told me he kinda missed me. Honestly, that puts me in a damn difficult situation. I felt like i was about to murder some innocent man. Though, he's not that innocent anymore based on what i know and heard about him in the past.
Past may be in the past and we should not bother it too much, however, your past is the one damn good thing that haunts you forever. So even though he may be "nice and innocent" now, it does not deny the fact that he lost it once. That is not very fair for whoever comes after that. If you know what i mean.
Anyway, i did hint him by saying what if i'm not the girl who will walk beside him in the future and also i asked him what would he do if i leave. When a girl says that, it's kinda obvious and i know that he kinda already knows what i'm going to say next. Unfortunately, i've already arrived at Aranda and so i had to get out of the car and to attend the party.
After the party, he came to pick me up as promised and we continued our conversation from there. While driving me back, throughout the entire trip he never once let go of my hand. That puts me in a even more difficult and awkward position because i'm not too sure what am i supposed to do next. Should i brush his hands off? or should i just let him hold on to my hand? what should i do? and bla bla bla...worrying through the journey home.
We had a little chat at my house downstairs and so i told him that it would probably be our last time meeting each other because i wanted to draw the line and maybe we should not contact each other anymore. He kept asking if i could make out some time for him and all he asked was just another dinner or movie. But this time round, i rejected him firmly. no buts, no maybes, no see-hows. I said no.
As when his eyes became teary, i feel so cruel towards him. and it was then i couldnt tell him straight that he is not the man i truly want to be with. Because somewhere out there, whenever something happens, woodblock would surface in my mind. I know that's bad. But i can't help it. That is when i realised that old flame is really not the one for me.
I wanted to be honest for once, with old flame. like telling him whatever i said on my blog. Like how i don't feel the love from him and somehow some where doesn't feel quite right despite the fact that i know him for like 7 to 8 years. Also, he may have good career prospect and he may be able to provide me for my life **from a realistic point of view**, but i don't feel like being part of the picture with him.
My heart doesnt skip a beat when i'm with him. Maybe at first sight, my heart beats a little faster than usual. But after a while, i tend to worry instead of enjoying my time with him. When he held my hand, thoughts like "shit, what am i supposed to do now?" , "what if someone saw us?" , "should i push him away?" , "will i hurt his pride?" , "i dun want this" and etc... will come across my mind.
But that doesnt happen when it was with woodblock. I'm not using woodblock as my excuse to push old flame away. It's just that somehow, i dun feel right with old flame. Also, it's not like i'm expecting something out of woodblock. Eventually, i may find a better guy than him and i will move on in life and i may forget what woodblock has done for me.
That aside, after getting off the car and ignoring him. He smsed me and told me that he would probably need some time to get over me and also, honestly he would do anything for us to be together. Tell you what, i didnt reply his sms. Am i doing the right thing? hope i did. don't want to mislead him or anything.
Time will heal. I hope it does. For him and for myself. I just hope that school can hurry start, training can hurry resume. So that I can keep myself busy and not think about anything. Not about old flame, not about woodblock. I just want to focus on my studies, bowling and work. Hang out with friends to chill. Mahjong. Sing K. Eat steamboat. Play L4D. or anything. gathering.
Relationship is troublesome. I knew that long ago. I shouldnt have bothered myself with all these unnecessary things at the moment, when i have other better things to do. Really. What have i gotten myself into. I brought this upon myself. If only, i hadnt gone out with him. Well, it's too late for that now. So, just be a little wiser next time. RUN, when you can see it coming.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Manga Review: Tsuki no Shippo
Manga: Tsuki no Shippo
Genre: Historical, Romance, Martial arts, Drama, Shoujo, Comedy, Adventure
Status: Completed. 105 Chapters.
Story:
Usagi is a child from a famous ninja village and her grandpa and great-grandpa were well known shinobi as well. However, she doesn't seem to inherit their genes and could not even be qualified as a shinobi. Despite that, she is a herbalist. Someone who is good at mixing medicine.
Her first mission was to go to Iga, another village and marry the leader of the village to bear his child. The amiable man is Hanzou. Hanzou is like a perfect man. He has the looks, the skills and the leadership. Everything a woman desire, he has. BUT, he has a problem. He does not want to marry.
It's a story that involves these 2 characters as the main characters of the story. This manga has a good plot when comes to politics play since ninjas are often send to missions such as gathering information, smoking each other and fight each other.
It also involves with a little tragedy because of a war between the villages. And how does the war make a change in every character's life. It complies with Usagi's journy in becoming a herbalist, a shinobi as well as Hanzou's wife. The people she met along the way and the people she lost in battles.
It has happy, sad and frustrating moments when reading this manga.
Genre: Historical, Romance, Martial arts, Drama, Shoujo, Comedy, Adventure
Status: Completed. 105 Chapters.
Story:
Usagi is a child from a famous ninja village and her grandpa and great-grandpa were well known shinobi as well. However, she doesn't seem to inherit their genes and could not even be qualified as a shinobi. Despite that, she is a herbalist. Someone who is good at mixing medicine.
Her first mission was to go to Iga, another village and marry the leader of the village to bear his child. The amiable man is Hanzou. Hanzou is like a perfect man. He has the looks, the skills and the leadership. Everything a woman desire, he has. BUT, he has a problem. He does not want to marry.
It's a story that involves these 2 characters as the main characters of the story. This manga has a good plot when comes to politics play since ninjas are often send to missions such as gathering information, smoking each other and fight each other.
It also involves with a little tragedy because of a war between the villages. And how does the war make a change in every character's life. It complies with Usagi's journy in becoming a herbalist, a shinobi as well as Hanzou's wife. The people she met along the way and the people she lost in battles.
It has happy, sad and frustrating moments when reading this manga.
OMG. SO DEAD.
To be honest, i'm kinda in a deep pile of shit recently. well, i believe many of you would know that when one shit comes, all the shit would come as well. omg, i'm so dead. perhaps this is my karma. a lesson for me to learnt through the dangerous way. the most dangerous way.
so where should i start talking about it. alright, perhaps it all started out with old flame meeting up and stuff. this could get pretty serious and to make things worst, i've played with fire and burnt myself.
this boy whom i have know him since my teenage years came back asking me out for a dinner. and well, here i though no harm going out for a dinner since it i hadnt been going out much and my social life seems a little boring and dry. this is the point where you could say, trying to start the fire with a match stick. and here it goes.
after dinner and stuff, we talked a bit and till now we still contact each other. and of coz, the meeting didnt end with just the first dinner, we went out for a movie and stuff too. so it pretty seems like a date. at least, that's what i thought too. and this is the point when i realised that under the match stick that i lid, there was a pile of dry grass below it.
so it has been a week already. and after many sms-ing on the phone and stuff. i'm gradually starting to feel frighten by him. in short, i'm afraid of him. he's not a stalker or anything coz he's in army now. i mean he sign on as a regular in the SAF. by saying so, i guess many of you could have already figured out that he has money.
he owns his own car, a tuscani. he has cash and credit card. BUT!!! that's not the point. there was this once serious talk we had and he was talking about OUR future. yes, hear it right, he said OUR FUTURE! omg. die. to be honest. he was never in my picture.
also, since recently i have changed my msn nick complaining about my comp and stuff. he hinted that he wanted to buy a laptop for me, on top of that, it is a macbook. oh yea, you didnt hear or see wrongly again. he said MACBOOK! and guess what it is the MACBOOK PRO!. jeez, at this point of time, my heartbeat almost stop for 5mins. it's not funny.
putting that aside, i was glad that there was this one sms that he mentioned that he feels that it's kinda hard for him to communicate with me. my mood was damn happy. i wish he could call off this whole thing. at this stage, the match stick that i lid, went out and i dispose it into the pile of dried grass.
erm. i dun even know how to describe the status we're in. god damn it. boys sure are trouble. damn big trouble-maker. i'm starting to have phobia against boys. zomg. correction. not boys. phobia against him.yes. HIM!
okay, apart from all these things. he said he wanted to meet my parent. my soul almost went out of my body.yea. for a split second my soul came out of my body and went back in again. for god's sake. what in the world is he thinking. i dont understand. i totally don't understand and dont get it. at this point of time, it feels like the match stick that was supposed to die, found its spark and lid again. this time round, in the pile of dried grass. the fire started.
and so when the fire started. now. i'm starting to find water to put it out. and if i don't find the water in time, i will burn myself. alright, i hate to say this but now i've a few plans on hand. i have to play my cards well and right. on top of that, i can never play this fairly and so cheating is necessary.
i have to get this settled by end of this week. if not, you would probably see my face on the orbiturary page or on my grave engraved on it R.I.P
it may sound serious. because it is serious. if i dun settle it fast. there will be dispute between my mother and i, my father and my mother, my mother and him, and last of all me and his family.
die. so dead. why would this happen at a time like this. why. why. why. tell me why. i thought i could keep my cool. oh well, i am keeping my cool on the surface. yes i am. i'm just venting my frustration here. and i'm glad i did.
during all these times when i'm out with him or texting each other. i know he cared for me. but somehow i don't feel that love at all. somehow it doesnt seem like it is real. it is not something i could put to words but i did some comparison between this old flame and that WOODBLOCK.
of coz i not only compared my old flame with woodblock but also with some other male friends that i know who used to be interested in me and how they approach and what is the feel like. but i can only compare him to woodblock because we have the same denominator here which is me. they are somewhat my type of guys and i had feelings for them.however, a very different type of feel.
woodblock gave me a more real feel. thinking back on those times when we spent toegther during our overseas tourny. somehow i could feel that he may have really cared for me from the bottom of his heart. he meant it. his actions, gestures and words.he meant it.
old flame is more of like a playing feel. although from the time i know him till now, he did mature a lot.trust me, he was damn freaking fugging childish in the past. but that's all in the past and right now he may turn out to be a not a bad guy. having said that, i dont feel anything from him.
a lady's 6th sense is always damn accurate. i'm not being bias here. really. but my heart doesnt tell me that old flame is the man for me. or the guy i want to be in a realtionship with. his actions, gestures or words doesnt seem to be what he wants to say. it feels more like, he is saying it because he knows i want to hear it. it feels like he is rushing it.
woodblock may be irritating at times. sometimes hot sometimes cold. i dont understand what you're thinking as well. nevertheless, those time that i spent with you really felt different. you're honest. straight forward and the feeling you portray is innocent.
taking dinner or lunch for example. the way the two of them talks and the way they acted towards me are so different. old flame cares more about going to a more high class restaurant, not to be embarassed in front of me. woodblock is more of like taking care of what i need. like sharing food with me since i'm indecisive. THAT is the difference.
SMS.woodblock would ask if we're on the right route home. if i would need an umbrella and telling me the weather is going to rain. old flame would ask how's my day. if i miss him or not.not to work so much and burn my weekends off and when can we meet again.erm, people, can you spot the difference?
when we walk.old flame would walk beside me and try to do funny things like hold my hand and stuff. ok, i can understand this part why guys do that. but it is damn not natural. he would try to pace me so that he would have his chance.woodblock would also walk beside me. but he is walking by my side and not BESIDE me. the difference is, woodblock ensures that i wont be walking alone. whereas old flame has an ulterior motive.
look, i'm not speaking up for woodblock. really i'm not. but this is what my feel tells me so. well, all along i'm a very kinestatic person. so feel to me is important. sigh.
that's why i always say, when anything that comes to the heart, it's the most difficult issue to tackle. and to be honest. romance is damn troublesome. relationship is like a burden. after this, i better learn my lesson and stay away from potential harmful males.
actually, it's more of having more self-control and awareness. sometimes it's not good to let your heart overpower your brain. there are times where you brain has to lead your heart to make decisions. i guess this shows that i'm still so emotional. so damn emotional. and childish.
i have to seriously reflect on my own mistake this time round. not all males out there are just your friends or buddies. argh! OSN!!!!!! get a hold of yourself man. what is wrong with you. damn it.
lost.pissed.frustrated.afraid.worried.unsettled.uneasy.disappear.lie.truth.heart.head.decisions.methods.steps.plans.romance.feelings.relationship.parents.ideal.troubles.storm.shit.sigh.sleepy.
so where should i start talking about it. alright, perhaps it all started out with old flame meeting up and stuff. this could get pretty serious and to make things worst, i've played with fire and burnt myself.
this boy whom i have know him since my teenage years came back asking me out for a dinner. and well, here i though no harm going out for a dinner since it i hadnt been going out much and my social life seems a little boring and dry. this is the point where you could say, trying to start the fire with a match stick. and here it goes.
after dinner and stuff, we talked a bit and till now we still contact each other. and of coz, the meeting didnt end with just the first dinner, we went out for a movie and stuff too. so it pretty seems like a date. at least, that's what i thought too. and this is the point when i realised that under the match stick that i lid, there was a pile of dry grass below it.
so it has been a week already. and after many sms-ing on the phone and stuff. i'm gradually starting to feel frighten by him. in short, i'm afraid of him. he's not a stalker or anything coz he's in army now. i mean he sign on as a regular in the SAF. by saying so, i guess many of you could have already figured out that he has money.
he owns his own car, a tuscani. he has cash and credit card. BUT!!! that's not the point. there was this once serious talk we had and he was talking about OUR future. yes, hear it right, he said OUR FUTURE! omg. die. to be honest. he was never in my picture.
also, since recently i have changed my msn nick complaining about my comp and stuff. he hinted that he wanted to buy a laptop for me, on top of that, it is a macbook. oh yea, you didnt hear or see wrongly again. he said MACBOOK! and guess what it is the MACBOOK PRO!. jeez, at this point of time, my heartbeat almost stop for 5mins. it's not funny.
putting that aside, i was glad that there was this one sms that he mentioned that he feels that it's kinda hard for him to communicate with me. my mood was damn happy. i wish he could call off this whole thing. at this stage, the match stick that i lid, went out and i dispose it into the pile of dried grass.
erm. i dun even know how to describe the status we're in. god damn it. boys sure are trouble. damn big trouble-maker. i'm starting to have phobia against boys. zomg. correction. not boys. phobia against him.yes. HIM!
okay, apart from all these things. he said he wanted to meet my parent. my soul almost went out of my body.yea. for a split second my soul came out of my body and went back in again. for god's sake. what in the world is he thinking. i dont understand. i totally don't understand and dont get it. at this point of time, it feels like the match stick that was supposed to die, found its spark and lid again. this time round, in the pile of dried grass. the fire started.
and so when the fire started. now. i'm starting to find water to put it out. and if i don't find the water in time, i will burn myself. alright, i hate to say this but now i've a few plans on hand. i have to play my cards well and right. on top of that, i can never play this fairly and so cheating is necessary.
i have to get this settled by end of this week. if not, you would probably see my face on the orbiturary page or on my grave engraved on it R.I.P
it may sound serious. because it is serious. if i dun settle it fast. there will be dispute between my mother and i, my father and my mother, my mother and him, and last of all me and his family.
die. so dead. why would this happen at a time like this. why. why. why. tell me why. i thought i could keep my cool. oh well, i am keeping my cool on the surface. yes i am. i'm just venting my frustration here. and i'm glad i did.
during all these times when i'm out with him or texting each other. i know he cared for me. but somehow i don't feel that love at all. somehow it doesnt seem like it is real. it is not something i could put to words but i did some comparison between this old flame and that WOODBLOCK.
of coz i not only compared my old flame with woodblock but also with some other male friends that i know who used to be interested in me and how they approach and what is the feel like. but i can only compare him to woodblock because we have the same denominator here which is me. they are somewhat my type of guys and i had feelings for them.however, a very different type of feel.
woodblock gave me a more real feel. thinking back on those times when we spent toegther during our overseas tourny. somehow i could feel that he may have really cared for me from the bottom of his heart. he meant it. his actions, gestures and words.he meant it.
old flame is more of like a playing feel. although from the time i know him till now, he did mature a lot.trust me, he was damn freaking fugging childish in the past. but that's all in the past and right now he may turn out to be a not a bad guy. having said that, i dont feel anything from him.
a lady's 6th sense is always damn accurate. i'm not being bias here. really. but my heart doesnt tell me that old flame is the man for me. or the guy i want to be in a realtionship with. his actions, gestures or words doesnt seem to be what he wants to say. it feels more like, he is saying it because he knows i want to hear it. it feels like he is rushing it.
woodblock may be irritating at times. sometimes hot sometimes cold. i dont understand what you're thinking as well. nevertheless, those time that i spent with you really felt different. you're honest. straight forward and the feeling you portray is innocent.
taking dinner or lunch for example. the way the two of them talks and the way they acted towards me are so different. old flame cares more about going to a more high class restaurant, not to be embarassed in front of me. woodblock is more of like taking care of what i need. like sharing food with me since i'm indecisive. THAT is the difference.
SMS.woodblock would ask if we're on the right route home. if i would need an umbrella and telling me the weather is going to rain. old flame would ask how's my day. if i miss him or not.not to work so much and burn my weekends off and when can we meet again.erm, people, can you spot the difference?
when we walk.old flame would walk beside me and try to do funny things like hold my hand and stuff. ok, i can understand this part why guys do that. but it is damn not natural. he would try to pace me so that he would have his chance.woodblock would also walk beside me. but he is walking by my side and not BESIDE me. the difference is, woodblock ensures that i wont be walking alone. whereas old flame has an ulterior motive.
look, i'm not speaking up for woodblock. really i'm not. but this is what my feel tells me so. well, all along i'm a very kinestatic person. so feel to me is important. sigh.
that's why i always say, when anything that comes to the heart, it's the most difficult issue to tackle. and to be honest. romance is damn troublesome. relationship is like a burden. after this, i better learn my lesson and stay away from potential harmful males.
actually, it's more of having more self-control and awareness. sometimes it's not good to let your heart overpower your brain. there are times where you brain has to lead your heart to make decisions. i guess this shows that i'm still so emotional. so damn emotional. and childish.
i have to seriously reflect on my own mistake this time round. not all males out there are just your friends or buddies. argh! OSN!!!!!! get a hold of yourself man. what is wrong with you. damn it.
lost.pissed.frustrated.afraid.worried.unsettled.uneasy.disappear.lie.truth.heart.head.decisions.methods.steps.plans.romance.feelings.relationship.parents.ideal.troubles.storm.shit.sigh.sleepy.
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