Feelings For The Day

What can I say on such a lovely day I had yesterday. Yewbing who has been missing in actions for god knows how long, called me up last night for supper with lim zhong. Oh my, I really missed those days that we used to hang out after midnight and talk about everything under the moon. I was glad that I was able to meet up with my 2 good friends.

Went bowling with Gerard, Clement, Adrian, Uncle Jeffery and Tcf last night after work at CSC. We gambled $2 pin 5 (for me) and pin 10 (for the rest) and on top of that we gambled score according to position and bonus is 225 which is double the bet. In total I won $51, I am a happy girl last night.

Woke up this morning for work and met up with Gerard they all again and went down for interclub at Warran Golf. Tonight is the first week of the league and next week is Home Game. I wished I was another few more years younger so I could be part of the youth team. =_='''

Saw Greg who has slimmed down a lot, and he definitely looks better in his slimmer look. =) and saw a few friends that we hardly see each other. Of course, needless to say there are still a few annoying ones that I would love not to meet them. I would not elaborate more on this point.

The worst thing that could ever happened to me today was the intolerent odour from my colleague. Oh my tian, she stinks from head to toe. Don't ask me why, I do not have an answer to that either.
She has hongkong feet which really stinks and makes me giddy from work. I wonder if she ever realised that whenever she takes off her shoes, I'm always covering my nose. It really makes me wanna puke. Where is the hygeine!

That really ruins my day. Anyway, another poem for today =)

[What Can A Hug Do]

A hug is a wonderful gift to share
A way to show each other that we care
There is so much a hug is able to do
When you feel those arms holding you

A hug is a place to feel safe and warm
A comfort for the sad heart that is torn
An expression of the love in our heart
For the ones who we wish never to be apart

A hug is a greeting when we meet to say hello
Or to say goodbye when we have to go
It can hold us up when life gets us down
And makes us smile instead of frown

A hug can be given for no reason at all
And given to those, both big and small
We're never too old to feel the joy it brings
As it is one of the life's most pleasing things

And for all of this beauty, a hug is free!
It costs nothing yet means so much to me
We should all hug another to show that we care
For to feel a warm hug, nothing can compare

Some Says

Some say love is like a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it's a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love is like a flower
And you its only seed

It's soul afriad of dreaming
That never learns a dance
And the soul afriad of walking
That never takes the chance

It's the one, who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
When you feel that love is only
For the lucky and the strong

Just remember in the Winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the Sun's love
In the Spring will becomes the rose

Poem Of Thoughts

Been through a lot lately and at the same time has been thinking a lot too. Lost my handphone yesterday, wonder which idiot picked up my phone and did not return it. Anyway, if that person wants to take my phone, I'm fine with it cause my phone is on the verge of ending its life. I just want my SIM card back. Save me a lot of work.

Obviously, I haven't been in a good mood recently. Wonder why is that so. Perhaps is because I'm starting to notice a change within me. Not to sure whether it is good or bad. But I know I don't like the new me. Not a single bit.

I'm doing a lot of reflecting lately, thinking about who I was in the past and what I am now. My emotions, decisions, determinations are so easily affected. I wasn't like this in the past. I need to get myself back on my feet again. I need to start understanding myself more and change for the better.

My character, that I once very proud of, is starting to shatter. I need to stop my pace in life and take a look my surroundings again. To make sure I'm not lost and on the right track. To feel the peace and harmony within my soul. To be able to see where I'm heading to right now. I'm not referring to my career, I'm referring to my life here. Yes, my life.

To be honest with my own feelings, I'm still quite affected by THAT incident. That incident has changed many of us. Some for the better and some for the worst. Anyway, this has already happened and there is already nothing more we can do to salvage it. I wonder, if I were the victim, would I make the same choice as they did? Probably no.

After some self-reflection. I'm starting to feel that i'm back to my old self. Slowly bit by bit, step by step. I am starting to fall back into pieces. To who I used to be. I no longer miss him so much like I did in the past few months. This is who I am. This is me, the one who will not get affected by BG relationship. Not get affected by anything else that is not within my reach.

My inner peace is not being intruded anymore.

[ This Life ]
In life, chances are rare and don't come twice.
It will slipped right away if we are not wise.
If we are down to only a few choices,
What makes you choose one to the other?

Friends may come and they may go,
Will you find one who is truly your confiding soul?
We often make good and bad decisions,
And sometimes this will seriously affect our direction.

We fall, we cry, and we get hurt,
But at the end the day, are our lessons learnt?
Get back up on our feet and strive for the better,
To face what ever challenges that may come in the future.

There will be times when we will feel at lost,
Not to worry, this is part and parcel of our course.
Learning is a journey and not a destination.
In this process, there will be mixed feelings and emotions.

We will never know what the future may brings.
Therefore, this is our only hope for us to keep fighting and to win.
You will reap what you sow,
And so we will see to that day, where our hard work and results will show.

Written by myself. Trademark. =)

Dear Diary

Felt tired and wanted to have a good rest. If money could allow, I will buy more time for myself. "Am I trying too hard?" I often asked myself. But there will never be a honest answer to my question. Perhaps, I have not been very honest with myself to start with.

Read steffi's blog and she was saying about whether will you want to know that answers to the questions even if you already know that it will be heart breaking. Even if you know what the answers may be. Honestly, I will still want to hear from it directly from the person.

Reasons are simple. By hearing the answers personally, you will be able to learn to let go easily and quickly. It gives me the courage to move on in my life knowing that I have already lose it and there is nothing more I can do to hold the person back. The answer is clear, the line is drawn and there will be no more grey areas. This lessen the burdens in your heart.

It may be heartbreaking at first, but it will heal eventually. I was told that time does not heal your wounds, love will. I wonder. I still believe that time is the best medicine and love may deepen your wound. You never know.

Although I may be busy all day long and throughout the week, you never fails to intrude and distracts me from the things I do. It may be true that I think of you lesser now than before, however, I still cannot completely get you out of my mind. That is my objective. I do not even want to think about you for a second. Not even once. Just like how I did in the past. It is suffocating me.

Waiting may not be a good option. But giving up is not a good option either. So now, tell me how. Why of all things, feelings are something I cannot overcome. Why is that so. God knows. It seems that I am not strong enough. I need to be stronger and more determined so that I can conquer my own heart, which is my biggest enemy.

My heart, who knows not only my strength and also my weaknesses. My heart, who also knows my soft spots and my conscious. My biggest and toughest enemy. A battle that will keeps fighting for as long as it takes, and also the most tiring, energy taxing battle.

I wonder if anyone has won against their own hearts?

Steffi: mermaids eat humans, and I bet you won't to be a creature who feeds on humans' life's enery to survive. This is in accordance to the animes that I have watched. So, think twice before you wished for something.

My heart will go on. Okay, that is random. I'm tired from thinking too many things.